There' been a distressing lack of Masterchef chat lately

[Viva Prat Vegas]

At least Gregg the cund presents the show with a cheery wink
Torode overdoes the solemnity and the high and mightiness of the programme

I do not watch it

[Sir C]

Petrol's nice, but there's something rank about diesel.

Petrol reminds me of the Great Smell of Chang.

[Burney]

Wareing's going to be up that like a ferret up a trouser leg.

They all defer pathetically to him - even more so than the days of Chef Michel. Also, I don't like Monica now that she's the good cop. I preferred her when she was stone-faced and miserable. Also, some of her manglings of English vowel sounds defy belief (or 'buh-leaf' as she'd doubtless call it).

[Burney]

Petrol reminds me of the Great Smell of Chang.

And that time you did your Human Torch act, presumably.

[SWv2]

At least Gregg the cund presents the show with a cheery wink
Torode overdoes the solemnity and the high and mightiness of the programme

I do not watch it

Torode doesn’t do the professional one for reasons I am unsure of, possibly because he is Australian and by virtue a ****.

Waring is quite good in that he seems to make the contestants feel relaxed, or as relaxed as is possible given their relative youth and his standing in the culinary world.

The woman is clearly a lesbian and Wallace we have already dealt with.

The critics to a man are utter ****s especially Rayner and Sidwell.

[Sir C]

They all defer pathetically to him - even more so than the days of Chef Michel. Also, I don't like Monica now that she's the good cop. I preferred her when she was stone-faced and miserable. Also, some of her manglings of English vowel sounds defy belief (or 'buh-leaf' as she'd doubtless call it).

"Thus dush has muny ulumunts." Just. Fúck. Off.

[Sir C]

And that time you did your Human Torch act, presumably.

Good timez b, good timez indeed.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Sir C ""Thus dush has muny ulumunts." Just. Fúck. Off."

Channelling Lloyd Gross surely

[SWv2]

I do notice how none of the chefs are drinking while they cook.

For me it is an essential part of the process. I may enter one year and introduce this as an extra visual spectacle.

[Burney]

Torode doesn’t do the professional one for reasons I am unsure of, possibly because he is Australian and by virtue a ****.

Waring is quite good in that he seems to make the contestants feel relaxed, or as relaxed as is possible given their relative youth and his standing in the culinary world.

The woman is clearly a lesbian and Wallace we have already dealt with.

The critics to a man are utter ****s especially Rayner and Sidwell.

I assumed she was a lusbian, but apparently not. She's married to a Frunch head waiter.

Can you imagine what she does to the French language?

Agree about Sitwell and Rayner. Sitwell's the worst and needs stabbing. Rayner just makes me think fondly of that huge fat man they used to get in to judge.

By contrast, Grace Dent seems quite nice.