Click here for Arsenal FC news and reports

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 46

Thread: There's something living behind my wainscoting.

  1. #1

    There's something living behind my wainscoting.

    A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

    Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?


  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

    Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

    Send your cats in after the fùcker.

    You could just be going mad, of course.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Send your cats in after the fùcker.

    You could just be going mad, of course.
    They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

    It's a big fúcker, b.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

    It's a big fúcker, b.
    You can’t have a badger in the walls. That’s just not possible. Could it be bunnies?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

    It's a big fúcker, b.
    I think you should buy a gun. And loads of ammo. Also two weeks of food and water. Make that 30 days.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    You can’t have a badger in the walls. That’s just not possible. Could it be bunnies?
    If it's bunnies it's bunnies with emphysema. I can hear the bastárd breathing!

    At the weekend I'm going to have to crawl into the void under the kitchen and investigate.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash View Post
    I think you should buy a gun. And loads of ammo. Also two weeks of food and water. Make that 30 days.
    I wish the creature no harm, a. But I already have a gun, plenty of ammunition, and food for 3 months. Just in case #corbyn

  8. #8

    It is your very conscience tormenting you c. It is the embodiment of every

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

    Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

    hapless maid you ever deflowered, every blameless youth you sodomized, every simple, hard working man you swindled.

    It will indeed burst forth and exact a terrible retribution.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    hapless maid you ever deflowered, every blameless youth you sodomized, every simple, hard working man you swindled.

    It will indeed burst forth and exact a terrible retribution.
    ffs Herb - if you are going to use the word in every single post can you at least spell it properly - sodomised. You are not some Yank upstart

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda View Post
    ffs Herb - if you are going to use the word in every single post can you at least spell it properly - sodomised. You are not some Yank upstart
    I dont know what wainscoting is

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •