I'm going to a christmas carol service this evening.

[Sir C]

I’m going to have to cook a fùcking turkey. That’s a major factor in my misery

I've got to do that on 28th And I need to do a vegetarian dish as well

At least I've got gooses on christmas day.

[Sir C]

The Queen's speech on Christmas day. I simply will not let the in-laws begin eating my Christmas dinner until we've listened to it.

They tell me that's sweet in a very patronizing 'what a nice colonial you are' manner.

She's not talking to you; she's talking to us. Her proud, loyal subjects. People like me, burney, jorge and sw, not foreigners like you.

[Pokster]

I’m going to have to cook a fùcking turkey. That’s a major factor in my misery

And I get called the chip pisser around here

[World's End Stella]

I've got to do that on 28th And I need to do a vegetarian dish as well

At least I've got gooses on christmas day.

Do you slow roast goose until it's cooked through but falling off the bone or do you try and leave the breast pink?

I always struggle with roast duck or goose as roasting the bird whole makes it do difficult to get the legs and the breast just as you need them.

[Sir C]

We are as one on this one, Burney. Not sure how much is driven by economics as opposed to political correctness.

But going to the various activities for parents leaves you with a tremendous sense of history and tradition, I find it almost spiritual in some way.

And then the bints arrive and ruin the whole thing.

A few chicks were allowed into my 6th form the year I started my A levels. It was fúcking magnificent.

[SWv2]

She's not talking to you; she's talking to us. Her proud, loyal subjects. People like me, burney, jorge and sw, not foreigners like you.

Did she not skip it last year or am I imaging things?

They should get that saucy little tramp Meghan to do it.

[Sir C]

Do you slow roast goose until it's cooked through but falling off the bone or do you try and leave the breast pink?

I always struggle with roast duck or goose as roasting the bird whole makes it do difficult to get the legs and the breast just as you need them.

You have to joint the fúckers. It's just like jointing a chicken but slippery with grease.

It feels quite sexy, actually.

[Pokster]

A few chicks were allowed into my 6th form the year I started my A levels. It was fúcking magnificent.

I bet you gave some of them their first "A" levels.. eh eh

[Sir C]

Did she not skip it last year or am I imaging things?

They should get that saucy little tramp Meghan to do it.

I haven't seen it for years, to be fair. I'm either cooking or píssed at that point.

[Sir C]

I am attending one on Thursday as my daughter has somehow got herself involved in a “folk group” at school. Now this obviously throws up all sorts of worrying musical scenarios but what can you do. Coupled with the absolute fact that she is arguably as bad a singer as I have ever heard in my life, truly leave the room stuff. So factor in 20-30 of them.

I know one of the songs they are doing but cannot recall, safe to say however it is not Folk by any stretch or definition.

Then I find out that said “folk” act are only one of a list of acts – Scoil Rock (the school music band), a trad group, a tin whistle group, an ordinary choir etc.

Shít scenes.

Sure dere'll be ceilidh/craic/some daft fúcker with thon stupid drum.