the fat tongued, salivating mong-sounding genius who is Roy of the Rovers in material form.

Our defeat will signify that the power shift our rivals have prayed for these past three decades is now complete and they will have dominion over us for the next twenty years at least.

The disgusting parasitic goblin Kronky will keep the old french tit where he is, delivering nothing but profit without glory. Consequently the hordes of post 'Fever Pitch' dilettantes who infested our club will gradually return to cricket and rugby and no-one will take their place leaving vast swathes of the ArabBowl empty though the the attendance figures announced at each game will remain above 60,000.

We are lost, we can never go home