"They began positively, with Reiss Nelson, the audacious 17-year-old wing back who caught the eye against Red Star, playing two passes with the outside of his boot within the first ten minutes."

He played passes with *gulp* the outside of his boot! Oh, the audaciousness of it! Next you'll be telling me the passes were aimed at one of his teammates, not just lumped into the mixer.

Dear God, what a culture they perpetuate.