Speaking of Nigel Slater

[Burney]

I love the ol' puffer, and she is joining me in this project! I've got tobacco flavour and I like it very much. I can already feel the benefits when I run. Remarkable.

Also, I've just calculated that between us we will save some £9k a year. That's 50% of s decent holiday, for fúck's sake!

Yes, it's an excellent alternative for those who lack the iron will and intimidating moral fibre just to go cold turkey.

I'm glad you're adjusting so easily to becoming a vapist. G was the same. Gave up fags, straight on the puffer and didn't look back. I find it quite extraordinary that these ludicrous so-called anti-smoking nazis want them banned as well, given how much easier they make the giving up process.

[SWv2]

Medical. Doctor claimed by blood pressure was 'a little high'.

Sensible medical advice for a man of your age, the smoking bit anyway.

It was suggested to me post medical that I needed to cut back on alcohol, some nonsense about liver function tests. Anyhow I found this staggering and in fact told the doctor she was wrong. I pointed out to her that my test was not long after the Xmas so what the fúck did she expect. She had even suggested I come back at a later date when somebody would shove their finger up my hole so I have half a mind to report them.

A subsequent re-test proved in fact that I was the one with the medical knowledge.

[Sir C]

Sensible medical advice for a man of your age, the smoking bit anyway.

It was suggested to me post medical that I needed to cut back on alcohol, some nonsense about liver function tests. Anyhow I found this staggering and in fact told the doctor she was wrong. I pointed out to her that my test was not long after the Xmas so what the fúck did she expect. She had even suggested I come back at a later date when somebody would shove their finger up my hole so I have half a mind to report them.

A subsequent re-test proved in fact that I was the one with the medical knowledge.

I have also cut down on booze; no more than half a bottle per night. Extra on Fridays and Saturdays, naturally.

Finger up the rear, eh? It's these little extras that make going private so worthwhile.

[World's End Stella]

Medical. Doctor claimed by blood pressure was 'a little high'. Not what you'd call high blood pressure, but a gnat's cock more than ideal. Made me as angry as hell. I eat well and exercise almost every day, and that's still not good enough for the medical 'profession'? Well fúck them. No salt, no fags. Let's see how they like that!

Yes, I said no salt.

Quitter*

*Ha!