There's something darkly satisfying about this story.

[Burney]

Fires, frying pans, etc.

https://www.theguardian.com/environm...laze-wiltshire

[PSRB]

Fires, frying pans, etc.

https://www.theguardian.com/environm...laze-wiltshire

I see our favourite lunatic Submariner has been somewhat banged to rights.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41021223

[Burney]

I see our favourite lunatic Submariner has been somewhat banged to rights.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41021223

Look, if a chap can't take a break from building massive submarines to murder and dismember the odd woman, what's the world coming to?

[PSRB]

Look, if a chap can't take a break from building massive submarines to murder and dismember the odd woman, what's the world coming to?

That's the problem with dumping a body in the Baltic, no sharks to eat the evidence.

[Burney]

That's the problem with dumping a body in the Baltic, no sharks to eat the evidence.

He must surely have known the 'she was fine when I dropped her off/whoops my submarine seems to have sunk' excuse wasn't going to wash, surely?

I'm not convinced he thought things through.

[PSRB]

I am rather looking forward to hearing how the whole thing pans out.

My assumption is that he's tried to cop a feel (or a bit more) and it's all gone a bit pear-shaped. He's tried to sail off into the deep and dispose of her in very deep water and his machine has broken and he's made a bit of a balls up in covering his tracks

[Ash]

My assumption is that he's tried to cop a feel (or a bit more) and it's all gone a bit pear-shaped.

Where "all gone a bit pear shaped" means her head fell off.

[Burney]

I am rather looking forward to hearing how the whole thing pans out.

My assumption is that he's tried to cop a feel (or a bit more) and it's all gone a bit pear-shaped. He's tried to sail off into the deep and dispose of her in very deep water and his machine has broken and he's made a bit of a balls up in covering his tracks

I mean you'd have thought he literally had the best possible means of disposing of a body in such a way that it'll never be found to hand and he cocks the whole think up. All he had to do was take her out to a proper bit of ocean miles offshore, luzz her overboard and radio in that there's been a terrible accident that's ended up with her going overboard and into the propeller. I mean people would be well suss, but they couldn't prove fück all.

Instead he's come up with this shower of shíte. Amateur.

[Burney]

Where "all gone a bit pear shaped" means her head fell off.

And her arms and legs, to be fair.

Anyway, she was asking for it. Hasn't she ever read 20,000 leagues under the sea? You can't trust these mysterious submarine johnnies.

[PSRB]

I mean you'd have thought he literally had the best possible means of disposing of a body in such a way that it'll never be found to hand and he cocks the whole think up. All he had to do was take her out to a proper bit of ocean miles offshore, luzz her overboard and radio in that there's been a terrible accident that's ended up with her going overboard and into the propeller. I mean people would be well suss, but they couldn't prove fück all.

Instead he's come up with this shower of shíte. Amateur.

Quite. He must have had some sort of life raft, so just set up an electrical fire, climb aboard life raft and submarine along with all the blood splatter evidence is burnt up and then goes to the bottom of the sea for good measure.