It's a fraction over 2 weeks until the transfer window slams shut. So far we have

[Burney]

It was scrapped for the princely sum of £150.

I now drive a Vauxhall Vectra that I bought two years ago for 500 quid. Its wonderful

A Vectra? That's a car that makes my Passat look like a model of edgy, characterful driving.

I remember driving a ridiculously over-specced Vectra as a temporary company car years ago. It was very comfortable inside, but incredibly heavy and rather confusing to drive, since there was a five second delay between pressing the accelerator and anything actually happening.