Have a family holiday at a gite including a BIL from Yorkshire who is so tight that he refuses to buy food communally and instead buys only his own and spends the better part of the week making sure no one eats 'his food' or drinks 'his drink'.

Eat at brasseries with laminated menus, no matter how highly Trip Advisor rated the place and no matter how packed with locals it was.

Have your car break down 3 hours outside Calais.