Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
Imagine apporoaching it in the scuttle. You'd need to stand on a fúcking stepladder. Just picture the enormity of the mass of flesh! The hams, like massive... hams. White, blinding white flesh! And of course, let us not forget the forest of coarse hairs surrounding the gaping clambucket, like a steel wool-rimmed Venus flytrap. Get your chap in there and it's going to get ripped clean off, it would happen so fast you wouldn't even feel it, then the fúcker would turn around and eat you like a vast wotsit, stick insect. She'd chew your fúcking head off.

Back in 5.
The act wouldn't be the worst of it. The worst would be the post-coital embrace.