Lyrics you misheard or changed your mind and now you can't but help

[Peter]

A serious question to you and Peter

Do you just feel paralysed gripped with gear and not wanting to move when on an aircraft and is being sat in the chair the least worrying option ?

I am nervous at take off, irritated for the next 20 minutes and then fine. Once the seatbelt sign is off I will spend as much time as possible out of the seat unless the flight is half empty.
I also spend a bit of time in the loo with my e-cigarette.

[redgunamo]

Old colleague of mine couldn't go abroad as his wife was scared of flying.... she did hypno to get over it so they booked their first family trip abroad to Mallorca, checked in fine, on the plane she has a panic attack and decides she can't go. She gets off with the kids and the airline tell her husband that he can delay the flight and piss off loads of passengers while they unload the cases, or he can fly without them...... he flew to Mallorca, collected the cases then had to pay for a return flight home (even better he got done for exceeding his baggage allowance on the way home)

He deserved it, imo. What a homo!

[Burney]

A serious question to you and Peter

Do you just feel paralysed gripped with gear and not wanting to move when on an aircraft and is being sat in the chair the least worrying option ?

Oh, I'm not paralysed with fear, just churning away internally. To look at me, you might not even realise I didn't like flying - unless you knew me well. I prefer to remain seated, though, and quite resent having to get up to let people go to the lavatory.

[Sir C]

So I was right to be scared

Too right you were. Especially these days, when most FOs are wet-behind the ear kids who have graduated from an approved course with no more than 250 hours total experience. They simply do not have the instinctive reactions to things going wrong which catch the problem in the first 5 seconds. The old generation of skippers is still around at the moment, but they're starting to retire and these kids are getting promoted to the left hand seat. It's quite scary, really.

I have a good friend who is a senior, very experienced skipper with a certain very popular airline and he tells me that these days, if he has, for example, a night flight into a meditaerranean island where he is likely to be making an approach, in the weather, without benefit of radar cover, he looks at the sprog next to him and realises that he is, to all intents and pruposes, going to have the do the job alone. And it's a two man job, so that's really, really hard.

Now imagine something going wrong in the middle of that...

[Sir C]

Yes, yes, but does it really have to be so noisy?

I bet you'd be less happy if it all went quiet...

There's an old RAF saying that the propellor is on the front of the aircraft to keep the pilot cool, because if it stops, you watch the fúcker sweat.

[Peter]

Too right you were. Especially these days, when most FOs are wet-behind the ear kids who have graduated from an approved course with no more than 250 hours total experience. They simply do not have the instinctive reactions to things going wrong which catch the problem in the first 5 seconds. The old generation of skippers is still around at the moment, but they're starting to retire and these kids are getting promoted to the left hand seat. It's quite scary, really.

I have a good friend who is a senior, very experienced skipper with a certain very popular airline and he tells me that these days, if he has, for example, a night flight into a meditaerranean island where he is likely to be making an approach, in the weather, without benefit of radar cover, he looks at the sprog next to him and realises that he is, to all intents and pruposes, going to have the do the job alone. And it's a two man job, so that's really, really hard.

Now imagine something going wrong in the middle of that...

Yeah, well. These things happen. Stick on some music and forget about it.

[Sir C]

If you are 6 foot tall and sat in economy, that isn't an easy option.

I struggle to sleep in bed, let alone strapped into a rock hard chair in a tube of farts

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

[Sir C]

Yeah, well. These things happen. Stick on some music and forget about it.

Well, yeah. That's OK if there is some catastrophic incident and everyone gets wiped out immediately. What if there is a landing incident? All those bits of seats and bits of people flying around the cabin inflicting the most unimaginable injuries. And that's without the fire! And it's not just any old fire. AVTUR burns hot, p. Hot.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

This is your Captain speaking ..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Burney]

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

Where does one even get sleeping tablets these days, though. Ask for one from a GP and he'll immediately assume you're a junkie and start wibbling at you about fücking breathing exercises or some such shít.