Impressive sportsmen/celebrities you have met.

[Sir C]

I know.

I could have added all the politicians but that would only have got me a load of abuse.

I have seen loads of very famous people out and about but I wouldn't dream of disturbing them. If I was that type of person I could have added Brad Pitt, Nicole Kidman, Neil Young.....I only approached Liam Brady because I knew my dad would like it. The geezer was having a quiet pint....or at least trying to.

Ah, now if we were including politicians I could have played my Ted Heath card.

He was a fúcking weird man, Ted Heath.

[Peter]

I left out Charlie Nicholas as well
And Charlie George.
And Jens Lehmann.
And that barmaid who had once served Dennis Bergkamp.

My friend's mum was a receptionist at the dentist where Dennis Bergkamp took his kids. He was apparently one of the nicest people she has ever met and always took the kids himself.

He really is the ultimate human being

[Peter]

Ah, now if we were including politicians I could have played my Ted Heath card.

He was a fúcking weird man, Ted Heath.

I never met Ted. I did walk past him in a corridor once.

[Sir C]

My friend's mum was a receptionist at the dentist where Dennis Bergkamp took his kids. He was apparently one of the nicest people she has ever met and always took the kids himself.

He really is the ultimate human being

Unfortunately the barmaid told me that she spilled some soup on him while waitressing at an Ajax dinner, and that he was wasn't very nice about it. Not shouty, but a bit sullen

Mind you, she may have been a secret Feyenoord fan.

[Sir C]

I never met Ted. I did walk past him in a corridor once.

I used to wonder what he was concealing in the crotch of his trousers. There was room for a leg of lamb to dangle there, for Christ's sake.

[Ash]

I used to wonder what he was concealing in the crotch of his trousers.

A small boy, perhaps.

[Tony C]

Frankie Dettori was shorter than I expected...even for a jockey

Met Richard Hughes in his riding days...5 foot 10 and looked at deaths door with the weight cuts and starvation

[Peter]

Unfortunately the barmaid told me that she spilled some soup on him while waitressing at an Ajax dinner, and that he was wasn't very nice about it. Not shouty, but a bit sullen

Mind you, she may have been a secret Feyenoord fan.

What did she expect? Don't ****ing spill soup on people.

Jesus Christ!

[Viva Prat Vegas]

A small boy, perhaps.

Cyril Smith had room for an entire class

[Pokster]

Ah, now if we were including politicians I could have played my Ted Heath card.

He was a fúcking weird man, Ted Heath.

I could have added Bill Clinton... and Richard Branson (they were having dinner together in Dubai at the time... SRB had a little wave at my Mrs, dirty basterd... him, not her unfortunatley)