They're calling AL the new Ian Wright. Well, Gerard Houlier is. I think we'd all take that.
Not for fifty million quid, we wouldn't, no. This fellow has (according to my figures) precisely three seasons to win us the league and or the European Cup.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."