A real question.

So the gist of my current situation is carry on as usual hopefully buy a place. The place will be tiny and in an area I don't like and put me in debt for the rest of my working life in a city I am not very fond of.

How about a different option.
what if I move to Italy to a place we already own with very low bills, where I can take a break from working and play my guitars at home and chill out, learn a new language. Not far from Milan easy to pop back to the UK when needed. my wife is happy to work and suggested I could take a break and take time to do what I want and play my guitars and have a much more relaxed life help her brother decorate his house etc, find a job later or study or learn something new. and somewhere I don't have to continuously think about this house buying stuff, paying large rents, being stuck in traffic, For example it took me an hour and half to get to Brent Cross it's 6 miles away. Then I can stop moaning.

We already have what we need there. It's got a nice terrace big rooms, very quiet. sell our car here and buy one there. I have given up on the idea of being some sort of successful office type, I'd rather work there in even in a supermarket as we have what we need.