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Thread: Exciting news, Awimb. Having previously thought that Mesut Ozil merely lives in my

  1. #1

    Exciting news, Awimb. Having previously thought that Mesut Ozil merely lives in my

    neighbourhood, it turns out he lives on my actual f*cking road, about 300 yards from my flat. I was tipped off about this by a neighbour and verified it by taking a peek through his front gates this morning and spotting a Lamborghini and 4x4, both sporting German plates.

    I can also confirm, as per the media reports, that he is indeed having his driveway re-laid.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    neighbourhood, it turns out he lives on my actual f*cking road, about 300 yards from my flat. I was tipped off about this by a neighbour and verified it by taking a peek through his front gates this morning and spotting a Lamborghini and 4x4, both sporting German plates.

    I can also confirm, as per the media reports, that he is indeed having his driveway re-laid.
    Puts the price up when he sells

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda View Post
    Puts the price up when he sells
    Probably getting his landlord to do it.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    neighbourhood, it turns out he lives on my actual f*cking road, about 300 yards from my flat. I was tipped off about this by a neighbour and verified it by taking a peek through his front gates this morning and spotting a Lamborghini and 4x4, both sporting German plates.

    I can also confirm, as per the media reports, that he is indeed having his driveway re-laid.

    Bit of a come-down for Mez to have to move from a private road in Highgate to East Finchley.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    Probably getting his landlord to do it.
    Pikeys imo. When they said 'Tarmac yer droive, sor? We've a load o'spare tarmac left over from a job in Crouch End. We'll do it for a couple o'hundred quid' he probably had no idea what they were saying and just smiled and nodded.
    Last edited by Burney; 05-08-2017 at 11:04 AM.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash View Post
    Bit of a come-down for Mez to have to move from a private road in Highgate to East Finchley.
    A fitting metaphor for his career trajectory, perhaps

  7. #7
    Careful m. If he spots you rubbing your skinny skinless pecker against his hand made wrought iron gates, he'll probably call the police.

  8. #8
    Jayzuss Cornelius! did ye see d' size o' de eyes and that cont!

  9. #9
    You mean that you haven't noticed him moving nonchalantly about the area trying to make everything seem perfect and pretty whilst actually leaving any hard work to his neighbours....?

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    neighbourhood, it turns out he lives on my actual f*cking road, about 300 yards from my flat. I was tipped off about this by a neighbour and verified it by taking a peek through his front gates this morning and spotting a Lamborghini and 4x4, both sporting German plates.

    I can also confirm, as per the media reports, that he is indeed having his driveway re-laid.

    How is this "exciting news"?

    Whatever you do, m, don't walk up to him with your arms stretched out wide and say "thanks for the memories"
    "Scoring a goal is better than sex" - Whoever said that was sticking it to the wrong woman

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