Having attended the game and been as sober as the proverbial judge I provide below my player by player analysis:

Ospina - Hmmmm. Plus the “Ospina!” thing when taking kick outs is shockingly gay and half hearted.
Bellerin - Hmmmm.
Mustafi - Interesting
Kos - Didn’t do much good or bad, went off.
Coquelin - Utterly fúcking shíte, should have been sent off. A player who looks out of his depth.
Xhaka - Okay, few nice passes, restricted by the referee and the utter ****ery that is Otamendi.
Ozil - Pure shíte
Walcott - A ****, goal or not.
Sanchez - All over the place.
Welbeck - Did less than fúck all. Runs around a lot, like a Jack Russell dog except costs more.

Gabriel - Did well.

Crowd - Interesting. Very sweary.