There are three urinals in the gents next to my office. I followed a chap in there

[World's End Stella]

Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.'

Mr Wilde

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

[Sir C]

To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

My glans is a shrivelled, scarred, pockmarked old thing now, h, not fit for anything save pissing through.

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

You're scared of that bad boy, aren't you? You fear it, and yet, you think of it almost constantly. It haunts yours dreams, awake or asleep.

Bear in mind that there's nothing wrong with it.

I must say c, you are never more lyrical than when discussing the erectus delectus

[Ash]

And pavements, Fash. Imagine walking down Oxford Street on a Saturday lunchtime if everyone kept to the left and maintained a steady speed

We don't often agree, Rich, but I'm with you on this one.

My favourite pedestrian gripes: Groups of stationary people blocking pavements, groups of people walking slowly along pavements and blocking it, pairs of people walking and looking at each other not the oncoming traffic, people walking while looking at their phones.

[Pokster]

To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

Didn't Balloonatic say he had the cleanest cock on AWIMB and you could eat your lunch off it

[Rich]

We don't often agree, Rich, but I'm with you on this one.

My favourite pedestrian gripes: Groups of stationary people blocking pavements, groups of people walking slowly along pavements and blocking it, pairs of people walking and looking at each other not the oncoming traffic, people walking while looking at their phones.

OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

[Rich]

OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

The Chinesers are especially bad at walking two abreast and then expecting you to move out of their way.

[Ash]

OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

I walked from London Bridge to your Epsom the other weekend along the route of the old Roman Stane Street (basically the A24). Got a bus within a minute of arriving in the town centre back to Morden Tube thus saving the whole mainline rail fare back into town minus £1.50

Ewell looks a nice place.

[Ash]

The Chinesers are especially bad at walking two abreast and then expecting you to move out of their way.

Perhaps it's the custom in their land that the two abreast get the right of way. I am now in the habit of walking right in up front of the phone-gazers until the last moment, making them jump and apologise.