Lá Fheile Phadraig

[redgunamo]

What? Phadraig?

Yes. My father named him after a schoolboy chum of his.

[Sir C]

I've never had a neighbour whose very existence didn't anger me. It could be the Dalai Lama and I wouldn't want the cvnt living next door.

I very nearly punched a neighbour once. As we stood on my front door step I kept beckoning him inside, secure in the knowledge that I could deck him without fear of prosecution as he was attacking me on my property, but the **** wouldn't enter. I did, however, tell him that I would fúck him and his missus, which went down well.

[SWv2]

Of course you don't like them! The only reason you'd like them would be if they had a few quid, in which case, of course, they'd be 'big people' and worthy of respect.

I know all this shít.

I don’t like them as mainly they are ****s and I believe at least 50% of them do look down on me.

This may be due to either a) when we first moved in I passed out on the sitting room floor and he had to go up a ladder to try and let himself in as he thought I may be dead or b) another night when I came home and he was entertaining in the back garden / patio so I took the hose to them over the wall.

We do chat sometimes – football mainly. He supports Dundalk.

[Burney]

Yes. My father named him after a schoolboy chum of his.

So the poor chap has had to grow up with no bugger being able to spell or pronounce his name?

Poor(drigg) show by your aged p there imo.

[Burney]

I don’t like them as mainly they are ****s and I believe at least 50% of them do look down on me.

This may be due to either a) when we first moved in I passed out on the sitting room floor and he had to go up a ladder to try and let himself in as he thought I may be dead or b) another night when I came home and he was entertaining in the back garden / patio so I took the hose to them over the wall.

We do chat sometimes – football mainly. He supports Dundalk.

You passed out on the sitting room floor?

[Sir C]

I don’t like them as mainly they are ****s and I believe at least 50% of them do look down on me.

This may be due to either a) when we first moved in I passed out on the sitting room floor and he had to go up a ladder to try and let himself in as he thought I may be dead or b) another night when I came home and he was entertaining in the back garden / patio so I took the hose to them over the wall.

We do chat sometimes – football mainly. He supports Dundalk.

What was he doing looking through your sitting room window? Pervert ****.

Him, not you.

[redgunamo]

I shall recall, as I do every year, the night of the FA Cup QF v West Ham and the moment Dennis elbowed his man in the face.

The moment he "became" Dennis Bergkamp, imo.

[Burney]

I very nearly punched a neighbour once. As we stood on my front door step I kept beckoning him inside, secure in the knowledge that I could deck him without fear of prosecution as he was attacking me on my property, but the **** wouldn't enter. I did, however, tell him that I would fúck him and his missus, which went down well.

What I want from neighbours is complete silence and invisibility. Is that so much to ask?

Actually, one of my neighbours is OK. She's a crazy old lady whose lawn I cut. The signal that she feels the grass is getting a bit long is that she goes out and starts cutting it with scissors, at which point I have to step in and mow it for her.

[Sir C]

What I want from neighbours is complete silence and invisibility. Is that so much to ask?

Actually, one of my neighbours is OK. She's a crazy old lady whose lawn I cut. The signal that she feels the grass is getting a bit long is that she goes out and starts cutting it with scissors, at which point I have to step in and mow it for her.

Is she lonely? You want to be worming your way into her affections. Think of the will, for Christ's sake.

[SWv2]

You passed out on the sitting room floor?

Yes, not my best moment on reflection. Had only moved in a few weeks and had kept a low profile until this point.

The Mrs had gone out for the day and by the time she got back whatever way I had locked up had denied her entry but clearly I could be seen through the window.