I went for a meeting yesterday at a major motor manufacturer.

[Sir C]

First time, trying to score a new contract, best party frock and top behaviour, you know the drill.

Upon arrival I needed a pee, so upon meeting my contact for the first time and being ushered into a meeting room, I pointed to the toilet door nearby and said, "I'll just pop in there first."

So I popped in there, all single-minded and focussed, and it struck me a strange that there was a Tampax vending machine on the wall and no urinals. Undeterred I entered a cubicle and did my business. Standing there, old chap in hand, the realisation dawned on me that I had entered the ladies in error.

By now I was, of course, committed, so bravely continued to piss, praying to all the Gods that a woman wouldn't enter and catch me. In this regard my blushes were spared.

As I exited my man, who was waiting for me, raised a quizzical eyebrow and enquired whether I always used the ladies, or whether I preferred to mix it up a bit.

Walked out with the contract, mind.

[Pat Vegas]

First time, trying to score a new contract, best party frock and top behaviour, you know the drill.

Upon arrival I needed a pee, so upon meeting my contact for the first time and being ushered into a meeting room, I pointed to the toilet door nearby and said, "I'll just pop in there first."

So I popped in there, all single-minded and focussed, and it struck me a strange that there was a Tampax vending machine on the wall and no urinals. Undeterred I entered a cubicle and did my business. Standing there, old chap in hand, the realisation dawned on me that I had entered the ladies in error.

By now I was, of course, committed, so bravely continued to piss, praying to all the Gods that a woman wouldn't enter and catch me. In this regard my blushes were spared.

As I exited my man, who was waiting for me, raised a quizzical eyebrow and enquired whether I always used the ladies, or whether I preferred to mix it up a bit.

Walked out with the contract, mind.

Do it every time now it's a good luck

I may have strolled into the ladies in a foreign country before as I got confused by the signs.

[Burney]

First time, trying to score a new contract, best party frock and top behaviour, you know the drill.

Upon arrival I needed a pee, so upon meeting my contact for the first time and being ushered into a meeting room, I pointed to the toilet door nearby and said, "I'll just pop in there first."

So I popped in there, all single-minded and focussed, and it struck me a strange that there was a Tampax vending machine on the wall and no urinals. Undeterred I entered a cubicle and did my business. Standing there, old chap in hand, the realisation dawned on me that I had entered the ladies in error.

By now I was, of course, committed, so bravely continued to piss, praying to all the Gods that a woman wouldn't enter and catch me. In this regard my blushes were spared.

As I exited my man, who was waiting for me, raised a quizzical eyebrow and enquired whether I always used the ladies, or whether I preferred to mix it up a bit.

Walked out with the contract, mind.

One of those situations whereby, if you front it out sufficiently well, you can actually come out with more credit than if you'd gone into the gents in the first place. Well done on the contract.

[Sir C]

One of those situations whereby, if you front it out sufficiently well, you can actually come out with more credit than if you'd gone into the gents in the first place. Well done on the contract.

Thank you. I won't be retiring early from it, but it's nice to pick up something new from time to time from a morale perspective, if nothing else.

I wended my way home by my favoured route when relaxing after a meeting in the midlands; Milton Keynes, Bedford, Letchworth, Royston, Bishops Stortford, M11. A nice, gentle, cosy little route along which to meander and allow one's thoughts to coalesce. Every time I do so I marvel at the loveliness of the village of Cottered, which seems to me to be somewhere with which you might be familiar. Bit north of you, I suppose. But remarkably pretty.

[Sir C]

Do it every time now it's a good luck

I may have strolled into the ladies in a foreign country before as I got confused by the signs.

I shall campaign for non-gender-specific toilets because transers.

[Burney]

Thank you. I won't be retiring early from it, but it's nice to pick up something new from time to time from a morale perspective, if nothing else.

I wended my way home by my favoured route when relaxing after a meeting in the midlands; Milton Keynes, Bedford, Letchworth, Royston, Bishops Stortford, M11. A nice, gentle, cosy little route along which to meander and allow one's thoughts to coalesce. Every time I do so I marvel at the loveliness of the village of Cottered, which seems to me to be somewhere with which you might be familiar. Bit north of you, I suppose. But remarkably pretty.

Yes, Cottered is lovely, but I'm never quite sure how to pronounce it. Bizarrely, as you drive through, you see a blue plaque for Sun Yat-sen of all people.
There are some lovely bits out this way, which makes it all the more mystifying that places like Watford and Cheshunt were allowed to happen in the same county.

[Sir C]

Yes, Cottered is lovely, but I'm never quite sure how to pronounce it. Bizarrely, as you drive through, you see a blue plaque for Sun Yat-sen of all people.
There are some lovely bits out this way, which makes it all the more mystifying that places like Watford and Cheshunt were allowed to happen in the same county.

I noticed that plaque for the first time yesterday, whilst debating with myself over the pronunciation of Cottered, at the same time listening to the story of Sun Yaoting, China's last eunuch. There's coincidence upon synchronicity, if you will.

[Burney]

Do it every time now it's a good luck

I may have strolled into the ladies in a foreign country before as I got confused by the signs.

I knew a chap who kept getting confused by the word 'Herren' in Germany because he assumed it meant 'Hers'.

[Sir C]

I knew a chap who kept getting confused by the word 'Herren' in Germany because he assumed it meant 'Hers'.

Fúcking hell. Was he educationally subnormal?

[Burney]

I noticed that plaque for the first time yesterday, whilst debating with myself over the pronunciation of Cottered, at the same time listening to the story of Sun Yaoting, China's last eunuch. There's coincidence upon synchronicity, if you will.

How very odd. I assume it's 'Cotter-id' ,but daren't say it out loud for fear of being mocked.

So what did old Sun Yaoting get up to? I'm guessing as stories go, it's a bit short on graphic sex scenes?