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Thread: Feeling a trifle sketchy this morning.

  1. #1

    Feeling a trifle sketchy this morning.

    First Christmas party of the season at the Churchill War Rooms (my main conclusion about which is that the place must have properly pen and inked when it was full).
    All good fun, but at dinner I had the misfortune to be sat next to the most extraordinary fellow. He was unable to converse in anything but a full-throated shout (despite the fact that he was no more than two feet away from me) and apparently thought nothing of shouting across me at my other neighbour while I attempted to eat. He also ate like an animal, hunched over his plate with his face no more than six inches from his food.

    The man was to all intents and purposes sub-human.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    First Christmas party of the season at the Churchill War Rooms (my main conclusion about which is that the place must have properly pen and inked when it was full).
    All good fun, but at dinner I had the misfortune to be sat next to the most extraordinary fellow. He was unable to converse in anything but a full-throated shout (despite the fact that he was no more than two feet away from me) and apparently thought nothing of shouting across me at my other neighbour while I attempted to eat. He also ate like an animal, hunched over his plate with his face no more than six inches from his food.

    The man was to all intents and purposes sub-human.
    I encountered such a bellowing sort of chap at a function recently, coincidentally. He turned out to be a Westminster lobbyist for the chauffeur-drive industry, which struck me as an odd profession. Anyway, he was very much of the bawling Hooray Henry school. (His table manners were impeccable.)

    Was your chap posh or common?

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I encountered such a bellowing sort of chap at a function recently, coincidentally. He turned out to be a Westminster lobbyist for the chauffeur-drive industry, which struck me as an odd profession. Anyway, he was very much of the bawling Hooray Henry school. (His table manners were impeccable.)

    Was your chap posh or common?
    Oh, he was common. Some sort of northerner, in fact. He was so ill-mannered as to almost redefine the term. He appeared simply to have no concept of how to behave at all. Him bellowing at me was bad enough, but I kept having to suppress a reflexive urge to stab him in the eye with a fork every time he stuck his head between me and my lunch in order to bellow at my other neighbour.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Oh, he was common. Some sort of northerner, in fact. He was so ill-mannered as to almost redefine the term. He appeared simply to have no concept of how to behave at all. Him bellowing at me was bad enough, but I kept having to suppress a reflexive urge to stab him in the eye with a fork every time he stuck his head between me and my lunch in order to bellow at my other neighbour.
    Grim business. We must hope that you don't suffer PTSD as a result of this experience.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Grim business. We must hope that you don't suffer PTSD as a result of this experience.
    I am feeling a bit triggered just thinking about it. Although that could just be the unfortunate combination of Champagne, red wine, brandy and ale coursing through my veins.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I am feeling a bit triggered just thinking about it. Although that could just be the unfortunate combination of Champagne, red wine, brandy and ale coursing through my veins.
    *BRANDYKLAXON*

    Self-inflicted, I'm afraid. Champagne, red wine and ale I'll allow. The addition of brandy, I'm afraid, causes me to withdraw my sympathy.

    Soory, b. I don't make the rules.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    First Christmas party of the season at the Churchill War Rooms (my main conclusion about which is that the place must have properly pen and inked when it was full).
    All good fun, but at dinner I had the misfortune to be sat next to the most extraordinary fellow. He was unable to converse in anything but a full-throated shout (despite the fact that he was no more than two feet away from me) and apparently thought nothing of shouting across me at my other neighbour while I attempted to eat. He also ate like an animal, hunched over his plate with his face no more than six inches from his food.

    The man was to all intents and purposes sub-human.
    Come on, man, I'm not that bad! Had you chuckling a couple times.

    Also, it's not all intents and purposes. It's all intensive purposes. And it's not admirable, it's admiral. Admiral party we had.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    *BRANDYKLAXON*

    Self-inflicted, I'm afraid. Champagne, red wine and ale I'll allow. The addition of brandy, I'm afraid, causes me to withdraw my sympathy.

    Soory, b. I don't make the rules.
    I think the last time I vomited due to drink was brandy-related. It was about 7 or 8 years ago - again after a Christmas bash (The Ritz, I think). The brandy and port stage of proceedings had gone on a very long time and I ended up consuming a frankly ridicules quantity of the stuff. I felt grand until, after leaving, I was lurching across Green Park mumbling and cursing and was taken unwell. I sat on a park bench as my legs had become unsteady, whereupon I proceeded copiously to deposit my stomach contents all over my shoes. I eventually squelched my way home with my shoes filled with puke and had to throw the things away. Pair of Barkers as well.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by eastgermanautos View Post
    Come on, man, I'm not that bad! Had you chuckling a couple times.

    Also, it's not all intents and purposes. It's all intensive purposes. And it's not admirable, it's admiral. Admiral party we had.
    Oh I can forgive Americans. They are crass and loud, but they are simple creatures and know no better - like large, over-friendly dogs.

    This chap had no such excuse.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Oh I can forgive Americans. They are crass and loud, but they are simple creatures and know no better - like large, over-friendly dogs.

    This chap had no such excuse.
    I like that.
    I am curious to see how this American party I am going to will be.

    they are so optimistic. I've been talking to my colleagues over there and me being my sarcastic grumpy Jack Deeesque type character, they are just so positive about everything. Everything is awesome or will be amazing. Though my old boss though I am still with the company somehow gave me the most amazing over the top reference.

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