Well my Christmas Day is promising to be thoroughly ****. Me, the missus, the sprogs,

[Monty92]

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

[Burney]

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo.

[Monty92]

I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo.

It's f*cking jokes man. Literally the binary opposite of how I imagined Christmases being when I had kids, Jeff

Who hates each other in your family?

[Pat Vegas]

I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo.

What's this farmhouse stuff. Are you Great Train Robbers?

[Burney]

It's f*cking jokes man. Literally the binary opposite of how I imagined Christmases being when I had kids, Jeff

Who hates each other in your family?

Nobody hates each other. Just my sister (whose farmhouse it is has) three teenage daughters who are at daggers drawn with her at the moment. Their dad died a few years ago and the place reminds us all of him, which will be awkward - particularly as my sis is now shacked up with his best man (who will also be there). Add to this the fact that my wife and I will be there with my daughter and will be joined (albeit briefly) by my ex on Boxing Day and it doesn't promise to be exactly restful.

Ho-hum.

[redgunamo]

Concentrate on keeping the wife happy and just ignore every other ****.

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

[Luis Anaconda]

Nobody hates each other. Just my sister (whose farmhouse it is has) three teenage daughters who are at daggers drawn with her at the moment. Their dad died a few years ago and the place reminds us all of him, which will be awkward - particularly as my sis is now shacked up with his best man (who will also be there). Add to this the fact that my wife and I will be there with my daughter and will be joined (albeit briefly) by my ex on Boxing Day and it doesn't promise to be exactly restful.

Ho-hum.

Sometimes living in a different country to family is very nice indeed

[Burney]

Sometimes living in a different country to family is very nice indeed

I can certainly see the attraction, yes.

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

Don't you think your wife needs to permanently bin her mum?

[Brentwood]

What's this farmhouse stuff. Are you Great Train Robbers?

that's tickled me