Watching a thing about romcoms the other day, it occurred to me how few I'd seen

[Burney]

That's why one doesn't really need to have seen them. Offer he can't refuse, horse's head, yadda yadda.

But they're so much more than that. There's Jame's Caan's Sonny strutting around like a gamecock, there's Al Pacino undertaking one of the only subtle, slow-burning roles of his life as he gradually corrupts from stand-up college boy to evil mobster, there's Luca Brazzi galumphing around, there's Diane Keaton being a pain in the ass, there's Clemenza and finally there's Brando Brandoing.

I've seen those films dozens of times. I still love them.

[Sir C]

But they're so much more than that. There's Jame's Caan's Sonny strutting around like a gamecock, there's Al Pacino undertaking one of the only subtle, slow-burning roles of his life as he gradually corrupts from stand-up college boy to evil mobster, there's Luca Brazzi galumphing around, there's Diane Keaton being a pain in the ass, there's Clemenza and finally there's Brando Brandoing.

I've seen those films dozens of times. I still love them.

That!s all well and good, but you've never seen Martine McCutcheon steal Hugh Grant's heart at 10 Downing St, so you know nothing of film.

[Burney]

That!s all well and good, but you've never seen Martine McCutcheon steal Hugh Grant's heart at 10 Downing St, so you know nothing of film.

OK, well if I watch Love Actually, will you promise at least to watch The Godfather?

[SWv2]

Oh yes, I forgot those. Are they the Marvel ones you hear about?

They sound like utter *******s to me.

I went to see Suicide Squad yesterday.

Mildly hungover. Box of popcorn, coke zero.

Big mac meal, 6 nuggets, fillet of fish. Boom.

[Sir C]

OK, well if I watch Love Actually, will you promise at least to watch The Godfather?

Certainly. I have no objection to it, I've just never got round to it.

[Burney]

I went to see Suicide Squad yesterday.

Mildly hungover. Box of popcorn, coke zero.

Big mac meal, 6 nuggets, fillet of fish. Boom.

You ate those things actually in the auditorium?

Do you know nothing of the code?

[Sir C]

You ate those things actually in the auditorium?

Do you know nothing of the code?

I expect he removed his shoes and checked his phone, as well

[Burney]

Certainly. I have no objection to it, I've just never got round to it.

Then it's a deal. I shall steel myself to watching some mawkish ****e by Richard Curtis and you get to watch a true masterpiece of cinema.

I can't help but feel you're getting the better of this deal.

[Sir C]

Then it's a deal. I shall steel myself to watching some mawkish ****e by Richard Curtis and you get to watch a true masterpiece of cinema.

I can't help but feel you're getting the better of this deal.

You're going to need a box of tissues. Not for ****ing.

[Burney]

You're going to need a box of tissues. Not for ****ing.

I'm really not, you know. We have established that I have no soul, a piece of carbon where my heart should be and tearducts as dry as a nun's nasty.