Paging CrossGun & Hollywood - any fresh gems from SIMB today?

[CrossGun]

The stat on the bbc about us and Leicester using the least number of players throughout the season is very significant. Quite simply we don't have the squad to be able to make a push in the league, cups and Europe. Even more so with Poch's high energy style of football. Weren't the Southampton fans saying their team used to tail off at the end of the season as the players were ****ed, mentally and physically? - by Bongoman - 05/16/2016 10:23AM
did you see the motd commentator from our match didnt even mention the dive for the pen, if it wasnt for the fact there was an ex spurs player as a pundit i doubt they would have mentioned it at all - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 10:34AM
Well we lost 5-1 - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 10:56AM
If you're going to play as we do, you need a big squad and proper quality on the bench. I think that Pochettino's methods can work but it's going to require a fair amount of investment. He needs to be able to rotate and for that he needs squad players he can rely on. At the moment we have Son, N'Jie and Chadli who all basically do the same thing, then we have Mason, Carroll and Bentaleb who aren't really very good - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 10:29AM
You're intimating that his methods have not worked this season? nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:31AM
haha, they haven't worked mate? it was a piss weak league that offered us a once in a lifetime opportunity and we limp into third and we had to chuck all three cups to do that? - by Balham - 05/16/2016 10:35AM
Well we disagree then. I'd have taken 3rd at the off. I'd have probably laughed at you if you offered it, but I'd have taken it. You can paint the doomsday picture however which way you want. We choked up 2nd place and fell to 3rd. It's not like choking up 4th and coming 5th. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:38AM
leicester won the league mate. we limped into the season's end behind them and the vermin we'd spent the season taunting. those are facts, not painting anything. expectations change as the season pans out. if united and chelsea are out of the top 4 then of course we ought to finish up there. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 10:49AM
Everyone would have taken 3rd at the beginning of the season. It's as simple as that. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 10:46AM
Yes of course. That doesnt mean we cant adjust our ambitions as the season progresses though? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 10:47AM
But that also doesn't mean its justified to go absolutely ****ing mental when those ambitions aren't met - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 10:54AM
You're wrong. We just got hammered by a relegated side 5-1, who were reduced to 10 men for the final 30mins. The consequences of that defeat meant we finished below Arse*al for the 21st season running after being above them for some 3 months or so. How the **** do you expect people to just shrug their shoulders and go 'oh well, nevermind' given the majority of us are now subjected to the relentless mocking and pisstaking from friends and colleagues? It's a ****ing embarresment. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 10:58AM
It's ****ing rubbish but it doesn't mean that everything is a complete disaster and we should take to sackcloth and ashes - by JonnieB thinks we're a pretty good football club - 05/16/2016 11:01AM
Im not sure I've gone mental about it? Im very disappointed how we have finished on a very damp squib but my concern now is how we remedy our shortcomings? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 10:57AM
I didn't mean you - by JonnieB means Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:00AM
I just wanted to finish above Arsenal - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:19AM
They worked very well until they didn't. Then the wheels fell off. - by MFV - 05/16/2016 10:34AM
Won nothing, bottled key matches, end of season collapse. Only thing he's done different is qualify for the CL, and we've both agreed this is a weak league - it's not a ringing endorsment in my opinion. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 10:34AM
was definitely worth throwing the cups for anyway. - by Balham thinks either domestic cup was absolutely winnable for us this season and would have taken that and finishing lower than 3rd all day every day - 05/16/2016 10:28AM
We got more points than anyone else in the league in the 2nd half of the season. This 'tails off' thing is a bit of a red herring IMO. We smashed United and Stoke out of sight and then had plenty of rest. We just lost out on the title and the players lost focus for the last 2 games. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:25AM
I remember teams saying we were like animals and that we were the toughest team they played...yet the way we played against West Brom, Southampton and Newcastle, it seemed like I was watching Spurs of old. We just looked lethargic and I think mentally, they were shot. We needed to be able to mix it up during the season and bring others into the team for the cups and Europa league. As T said, when Kane is off his game, the team don't respond. Kane has played so much this season, its hardly surprising that he couldn't perform in the last few games. - by Bongoman - 05/16/2016 10:32AM
Agree there. Although I think it was more to do with losing Dembele than anything else. Mentality certainly. They were shot, perhaps understandably. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:40AM
we drew a third of our games mate. 16 points from the final 11 games. demonstrably his methods of training don't work with the squad he has. without huge investment and proper rotation it still won't work. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 10:30AM
We had a poor start too. What did we get from our first 11 games? I'm not suggesting that this season has been 'sensational' because we've performed meekly in the cups and fell short on a title bid that was winnable. However we've achieved a top 4 finish which was from most sane observers not on the cards last August. His methods have worked. Spurs have improved in points and league position and performance. We now must improve again. He's had what, one full season with a 'proper' squad? nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:34AM
It's been an ok season. He is an ok manager, nothing more. I'd give him another year on the proviso that we spend a ****ing fortune and do so in plenty of time for pre season. Anything else and it is the same again. As it is year in year out, the small man has a huge summer ahead of him. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 10:38AM
I think you are wrong on Poch. He'll be the first manager Levy has appointed that will leave us for something better. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:43AM
What about the final third of the season? (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 10:28AM
8th in the form table on our last 10 games. (nt) - by MisterT answering for you - 05/16/2016 10:32AM
But 1st if you add in the 9 games before that? We ****ed up the last 4 games. I think as Poch said it was more to do with mentality than fitness or tactics or ability. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:35AM
We went mental when Redknapp threw away a 10 point lead on Arse*al, we threw away a 7 point lead (8 if you include the superior goal difference) under Poch. For all the positivity talked about mid-season today feels like deja-vu. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 10:38AM
Yes I agree there. The only difference is that under HR we lost the bragging rights and the prize. Under Poch we'd already secured the prize and just lost the bragging rights. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:44AM
lost focus in the chelsea and west brom game - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 10:27AM
Agree. In different ways, but agree. V WBA we battered them and started showboating a bit and got punished. Chelsea we had beaten them and the game was won and we got caught up in thier games and fell right into the trap. It's naive stuff. The folly of youth. Also, if I'm ultra critical Hugo as captain is not ideal. Cant really take it off him either. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:29AM
i really cant see anyone else who can do the job as captain. none of them seem to have the personality. - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 10:31AM
I think Harry has but he doesn't need the extra grief. Maybe Alds? Maybe Dier? One shout from left field might be Rose. He's been Spurs for a long time and I suspect (dont know for sure) that he has a strong will to win. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 10:46AM

[CrossGun]

Our 5 boys all made the England squad. Townsend did too, well deserved. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:02AM
Defoe must be gutted not to have gotten the nod ahead of Rashford. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 11:11AM
Not really fair is it? I mean he's picked Rashford because of his age and club. On performances you'd surely go with Defoe. He's been pretty lethal in a team that has Borini as its creative hub. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:16AM
.......and Jacky Wheelchair - by shanghai - 05/16/2016 11:07AM
i'm not happy about it at all. Spurs means more to me than the England squad and just increases the likelihood of injury. Yes, I am being slightly negative - by shanghai has seen the ****ing - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
henderson, delph, lallana and ****ing wilshere noch. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
how mnay in the final squad??, 23, rashford , delph and townsend to drop out? - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
Isnt he supposed to name the tournament squad today? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:07AM
31st May is the deadline for the final squad. - by Harry Monk - 05/16/2016 11:12AM
Ok, just seems most others have named their squads and then put reserves. - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:17AM
Yes, 3 will drop out. I assume Rashford and Delph. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
Its midfield where you could lose 3 players from squad and not miss them. Delph, Milner and Wilshere. - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:12AM
Ugh Milner, I forgot about him. This is very babyish of me I know, but I hope he stays just for TwitterMo ;-D nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:14AM
Fabian Delph. Fabian ****ing Delph - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 11:04AM
What on earth is Wilshere doing in it as well? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
haha its an amazing pick that - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 11:07AM
ENGLAND SQUAD >>> - by gdp - 05/16/2016 11:02AM
That looks like some terrible photoshopping for Rashford's photo. - by Harry Monk - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
I'm so pleased for Danny Rose. He should start too. Rashford is a bit odd. I'd have definitely taken Carroll or Defoe as that final option. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:03AM
No Noble or Walcott, but Wilshere in there - by gdp - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
You know there are special levels of delusion on here when people are STILL going on about AVBs season being better than Pochettino even though we've just finished 3rd and automatically qualified for the CL. How on earth some of you can mock other people for talking **** then come out with this **** it is astounding. Pochettino finished 3rd. AVB finished 5th. Have a word word with yourselves. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 10:59AM
Hold on, weren't you the one banging on about it was win percentage that mattered, an only that? Under that, AVB is better than Poch, but not as good as your man Sherwood. nt - by fishlovinyid - 05/16/2016 11:22AM
What? - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:25AM
Well you could argue that points total shows how you did against all the other teams, but league position also takes into account how well other teams did against each other. So points total is a better measure of how good you are as a side. Of course how good you are as a side doesn't matter because the only thing that matters is where you finish in the league - by Dougal - is not sure that makes any sense but knows what he means - 05/16/2016 11:08AM
It's just people that are unable to accept that Pichettino has been better for us. And is a better manager. All that matters is where you finish in the league. Trying to convince yourself that you were right by comparing the points tallies is just ridiculous. It's not a weaker league. It's more competitive. Everyone agrees it's more competitive, and in a hug key competitive league we finished 3rd. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:12AM
As you say, he has been better for us. We've finished higher. Whether we're a better team is debateable - by Dougal - thinks we're a better team but can see why some people wouldn't - 05/16/2016 11:17AM
For me personally the fact we've finished higher in the league than we have since I've supported us proves he's better. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:26AM
Nobody is saying it's better, people are simply pointing out that we finished 5th with more points, which could point to us not really improving at all and our rise in league postion is simply down to the likes of City, Chels**, United and Liverpool all declining. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 11:05AM
they are just trying to be cool fella. - by shanghai mateys are looking properly silly - 05/16/2016 11:02AM

[CrossGun]

Glassy, I will try and break it down into smaller chunks. I may well be wrong, but I thought you had posted on here earlier this year that win percentage was the best indicator a a manager's abiluty/performance. This led to a conversation about sample size. I swear you stuck to your guns that a high win percentage was a good indictative measure. If we look at the league win percentage of our last three managers. Poch comes bottom. Got it? nt - by fishlovinyid - 05/16/2016 11:37AM
I think win percentage is a tricky measure because if you beat all the **** teams and get slaughtered by the good teams are you better or worse than if you pretty much draw against everyone? - by Dougal - just wants to finish above Arsenal once - 05/16/2016 11:40AM
If you have two managers that finish 5th in the league, were at Spurs for two years and neither of them won anything then win % would be something you could use to use to compare. When one manager finishes 5th in a full season, and another finished 3rd its just utterly pointless. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:44AM
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? nt - by fishlovinyid - 05/16/2016 11:43AM
Errr, no. I didn't. If I had that opinion then I'd believe AVB was the best manager we've had. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:39AM
No, that would be Sherwood. nt - by fishlovinyid - 05/16/2016 11:40AM
Well, either or. It wasn't me. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:40AM
Well he did like Sherwood ;o) - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:40AM
""He's not had regular games," says Roy Hodgson on decision to omit Walcott from Euro squad - er you picked Fabian Delph and Invictus Wishere? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:36AM
Hahaha - by Penge - 05/16/2016 11:39AM
Nick - those Dembele stats are wrong arent they, sure he started at United away? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:24AM
I thought that too, someone tweeted them to me! If you cant trust strangers on Twitter, who can you trust? nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:27AM
He did - by gdp - 05/16/2016 11:25AM
That was before he got good though. The old Dembele if you will - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:28AM
still being offered around europe with lamela at that point maybe - by Balham - 05/16/2016 11:29AM
So I am assuming that the Woolwich all want Wenger to stay now then? - by Jerusalem - 05/16/2016 11:23AM
Hopefully the two-year deal the press were reporting is true. nt - by fishlovinyid - 05/16/2016 11:38AM
So why didn't Danny Rose play yesterday? Was it tactical? I'd love to know the justification for it - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:18AM
The only logical reason behind what was a very odd selection would either be the story below. Or perhaps Townsend always struggled v Davies in training and not Rose? nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 11:29AM
I'm choosing to believe that, as I think that he would've come on yesterday after half-time if he was in contention, and also because he would not have been on the bench if injured and most likely been a starter(nt) - by Yourconscience believes everything on the internet - 05/16/2016 11:40AM
Terrible decision that. He's had a few bad weeks. Unfortunately we have a section of fans that will pay more attention to the past few weeks than what we did overall. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:27AM
If what is written below is true, it's a decision I support, even though it probably cost us. - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:29AM
Agreed. - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 11:32AM
Oh, haven't seen that. Summary please? - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:30AM
It's one post down, mate(nt) - by Yourconscience - 05/16/2016 11:31AM
Haha cheers. ****s sake if true. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:32AM
Of course it was probably completely made up by some child murdering, attention seeking, fantasist herbert on Twitter and started with the words "So I'm hearing......" - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 11:36AM
Haha, probably. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 11:38AM
From elsewhere>>>>>>>>>>> - by MacNamarasBand - 05/16/2016 11:23AM
Sack them all(nt) - by Yourconscience - 05/16/2016 11:30AM
id like that to be true - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 11:24AM
Saving him for the pre-season friendlies in August(nt) - by Yourconscience - 05/16/2016 11:22AM
a poor decision by the manager, simple as that. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 11:20AM
nobody knows on here mate - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 11:19AM
I thought someone might have read something - by Dougal - has avoided all interviews and inquests - 05/16/2016 11:20AM
Wiltshire? what a joke and Delph pffft - by Sturrrt - 05/16/2016 11:16AM
Mil/JB I feel bad for being horrid to you both. You that I'm a huge fan but Spurs is to blame. I feel like a battered wife, believing his lies and tears. Well, no more. My sister Karen said I can stay with her and John in Canvey. I'm taking the kids tonight and he can rot in hell. No more - by Dack singing the song from Frozen - 05/16/2016 11:13AM
Just get the help you need, that's all any of us have ever asked - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 11:17AM
Its wierd. Im not bothered about it now. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 11:14AM

[CrossGun]

i think england have a decnet team that i will enjoy watching , i think we win our group, i think the top teams are another level to us though and when we face 1 of them we will be out, fair enough - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 12:17PM
its a good side. dreadful manager though and will underachieve - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:19PM
He's an owl of course and I wouldn't want him at spurs but I don't see that hodgson has done a bad job with england really. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:25PM
Hold on a ****ing second. In his second season Poch comes 3rd and CL football. In his second tournament Roy finished last and was beyond embarrassing. ****s sake. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 12:27PM
Haha - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 12:31PM
**** me, he'd only been England manager a month before the Euros! (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 12:31PM
I wasn't judging him on his first tournament, that would be unfair. Same with Poch and his first season really. It was someone else's squad. Roy had a diabolically bad world cup though. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 12:32PM
I like what he's done with the squad and how we play to be honest. I'm confident we'll do well in a tournament for the first time since Hoddle. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 12:34PM
Yes I agree with you actually. I just dont like Bal's double standards up there. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 12:36PM
haha. they are both ok managers who have done ok jobs. pooch isn't great, at all, and hodgson isn't terrible, at all. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:37PM
Poch helped hodgson by giving him fine well tuned hungry athletes, hodgson returned them overplayed and broken - by viveledaniel - 05/16/2016 12:40PM
a couple of games broke them? - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:45PM
the 10 minutes in the second game broke them after they had posted stats of the greatest running distances ever by england players just a few days earlier, they were also already playing through injuries - by viveledaniel - 05/16/2016 12:55PM
Look at england qualifying for this tournament. what more do you want from him? - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:29PM
I think 'par' for England is probably semi's of the Euro's and quarters of the worlds. Depending on the draw. Although simb tells me that I'm wrong. Unless you win the trophy then anything else is abject failure. nt - by NTY leans in - 05/16/2016 12:31PM
Sorry, Can i just pick you up on one point there mate, 'worlds'? That's in the main, athletics talk and also very annoying. Please cease ;o) - by MidlandYid - 05/16/2016 12:43PM
par for england is getting out of the group. we are light years from germany, france, italy, holland, spain, portugal and so on and that's just europe. i wouldnt want him at spurs but this qualifying period has has played ten, won ten, scored 31, conceded 3. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:33PM
Qualifying should be a given. I accept we're behind Germany and Spain, but not those other nations at all. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 12:34PM
well results and comparable performances in tournaments says different. - by Balham noting that del bosque is terrible too based on spain being **** at that world cup also - 05/16/2016 12:34PM
We're talking England now. (nt) - by MisterT - 05/16/2016 12:20PM
haha - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:21PM
I didnt see any of the game yestday yet, who let us down? why was rose on the bench? what else? - by Mil - 05/16/2016 12:14PM
toby had a ****ing stinker. whatever the ****ing formation change was after walker went off cattled us, they were walking through us time after time. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:15PM
Why did that happen? the formation change? - by Mil - 05/16/2016 12:16PM
walker was injured and he got subbed off for chadli and went 3 at the back. i'd like to say he went 352 or something but i haven't got a ****ing clue what was going on up there. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:18PM
There's no more block feature on here then? nt - by NTY can see some old friends on this day of days - 05/16/2016 12:12PM
i suspect the boss has disabled it based on what people have been saying - by Balham amused - 05/16/2016 12:13PM
I've listened to the new Stone Roses song a few times now. The musics got a lot better, the lyrics are still a joke. I think they are taking the piss. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 12:10PM
they wont make much money from it . - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:12PM
They will from the big shows - although they'd probably sell out anyway - by gdp - 05/16/2016 12:15PM
talking about the song - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:17PM
I know - I gathered - by gdp - 05/16/2016 12:22PM
then why are blabbing about concerts! - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:25PM
Because they're playing a load of huge concerts that still have some tickets on sale and having a new single will help push these and that's where they'll make the money - by gdp - 05/16/2016 12:28PM
ok - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:31PM
Agreed, I like the riff. - by JR - 05/16/2016 12:12PM
That England defence looks bloody terrible. - by RJM - 05/16/2016 12:04PM
Gareth Bale says hello - by c-spur - 05/16/2016 12:05PM
if davies is a starter for you then you should be worried. beyond woeful. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 12:07PM
he is better for Wales where he doesn't have to cover the whole left side or do much attacking - by c-spur thinks he is a reasonable backup for Rose, certainly better than 99% of the other backup players in our squad - 05/16/2016 12:13PM
My worst Spurs Dad story is letting my boys stay up late to watch the second half of that FA Cup replay against City when we were 3-0 up and they had had a man sent off. What could possibly go wrong, I thought, as I benignly watched their happy, excited faces. 45 minutes later they were traumitised wrecks. Welcome to Spurs, my boys, I said: this is what it's like. - by MFV - 05/16/2016 11:59AM
Jonathan Macken - size of a ****ing barrel winning a header to score the winner - by gdp - 05/16/2016 12:02PM
my daughter loves football. I am going to drum it out of her - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 12:01PM
Same here. She still watches the Chelsea game. I cant ghet her to stop. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 12:07PM

[CrossGun]

Jimmer......Steph now claims she is pregnant, popular wizard's cloak impersonator Jez has blocked her on social media.......what next for this compelling tale? - by JonnieB thinks he's a bellend and she's mentally ill - 05/16/2016 05:59PM
Nice to read that those box room dwelling virgin knicker sniffing "BaNtZ" types who invaded the pitch the other year during a European fixture have now been jailed for one of their "hilarious" pranks. Here's hoping they get sliced inside..For BANTA!!! - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 04:44PM
Bit excessive? For how long? - by Dack - 05/16/2016 05:21PM
good. unfunny ****pipe ****houses. - by Tone - 05/16/2016 04:53PM
that united supporting biff who does spurs tv needs a spell inside too. absolute ****. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 04:47PM
I dont really pay attention to all this stuff (other than Claude), but agree here. What a nob. nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 04:51PM
what a season claude has given us mate. - by Balham thinks if you look up 'careworn' in the dictionary you will see a picture of claude tugging at his forehead - 05/16/2016 05:02PM
He was excellent on Spurs yesterday. Far better than you lot ;-D nt - by NTY - 05/16/2016 05:26PM
I haven't caught up on ArsenalTV today, presumably they still want Wenger out? - by GarlandGreene - 05/16/2016 05:18PM
i've avoided all football related media really. thought it wise after an aussie who worked for me 13 years ago texted me to gloat. the **** lives in perth and hasn't ever been to a vermin game. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 05:22PM
Our yooth have bottles the nextgen final against ajax cape town fc - by Penge - 05/16/2016 04:35PM
Cheers Glassy, i've taken it off as that was the only option it gave me ffs - by Rumbles - 05/16/2016 04:20PM
I've seen it happen to others as well mate, no idea how to fix it unfortunately. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 04:22PM
Dougal - are you after some crowd funding ? - by The General - 05/16/2016 04:01PM
I reckon i read about 10 lines of hebrew and my barmitzvah cost about £100. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 03:24PM
I unfortunately come from the only poor jews in London. My barmitzvah cost about a grand and my mum and dad took that grand out of the money I got given as presents by the guests to pay for it - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 03:37PM
Ditto Dougal...the only one of my mates that never got to see his barmitzvah money....nt - by MacNamarasBand - 05/16/2016 05:58PM
You would have ended up giving it to Cokes anyway. nt - by Thelonious - 05/16/2016 04:29PM
Funnily enough we were sat next to Thelonius on the train to Newcastle yesterday. - by trappy - 05/16/2016 04:30PM
Haha "it will teach you the value of money Paul.." - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 03:44PM
Also, they didn't get me swimming lessons or driving lessons so I'm a crap swimmer and I didn't learb to drive until I was 34 - by Dougal - has has a deprived childhood - 05/16/2016 03:59PM
why didn't your school teach you? - by Balham learnt at junior school - 05/16/2016 04:19PM
I think my school were a bit ****. They took you to swimming but if you could already swim they just had you swimming widths and if you couldn't swim they had you doing widths with a float. I could swim just well enough to do a width without a float but there was no actual teaching going on - by Dougal - can swim now but is still not very good - 05/16/2016 04:25PM
You mean you didn't have to fetch a rubber brick from the bottom of the pool dressed in pyjamas? You've never lived !!! - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 04:34PM
No, it was ****ing rubbish. I think we did have aswimming gala once a year which involved some rubber brick diving - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 04:41PM
Swimming lessons? I can safely say I dont think I've ever had any privately paid swimming lessons. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 04:18PM
we did but that was for advanced swimming and competitions - by Tone quite enjoyed his saturday mornings at oakleigh park - 05/16/2016 04:59PM
you dont have to pay to teach your child to swim, you take them to the local pool and teach them yourself, - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 04:04PM
My dad took me to the local pool but his teaching methods mostly involved shouting at me a lot - by Dougal - to this day, is unable to tread water for more than 5 seconds - 05/16/2016 04:26PM
you should take lessons mate, there's nothing better than floating in the sea on holiday looking up at the blue sky... a real sense of freedom. - by Dafyd Ginola - 05/16/2016 05:13PM
top jewing, - by .TC. - 05/16/2016 03:42PM
Just a grand eh? - by JonnieB ****ing hates you all - 05/16/2016 03:41PM
Yes a grand, paid for by me - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 03:46PM
Oh, did you have to do some odd jobs in return for the thousands of pounds you were given? - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 03:48PM
Is the original post that complicated? MY mum and dad put the party on then took all my money to pay for it. It was like a Spurs summer transfer window - by Dougal - basically got nothing - 05/16/2016 03:55PM
So they didn't even let you attend your own party? The swines - by JonnieB suspects they maybe couldn't afford it - 05/16/2016 03:59PM
I got to go and enjoy the sight of all their mates getting pissed........ON MY MONEY - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 04:00PM
You still wouldn't have had any money if they hadn't thrown a party which you were kindly allowed to attend. It's hardly ****ing Angela's Ashes, is it? - by JonnieB had a pleasant childhood, had one birthday party the entire time, wore an England 1982 kit, is cooler than you - 05/16/2016 04:02PM
Yes but I didn't want to do a barmitzvah in the first place. The party and presents are a reward for having to go to hebrew classes for years then sing a stupid hebrew song in front of a synagogue full of people - by Dougal - also did not ask to have his foreskin forcibly removed - 05/16/2016 04:04PM
And this, THIS, is why all religion should be outlawed - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 04:05PM
And of course my mum and dad got to do the invite list so they got to invite about 50 of their mates and I got to invite about 5 of mine - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 03:56PM
a sitcom of your life should be made. - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 03:57PM
you'd only have spent it on eyeliner, cowboy boots and tiny dogs. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 03:47PM
You can never have too many tiny dogs, mate - by Dougal - wants more - 05/16/2016 03:57PM
i love my dog. the only bad side to it is that whenever i go away it's £30 a night for his boarder. otherwise no downside to dog ownership at all. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 03:58PM
We get someone to look after our two - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 04:03PM
and gadgets that are dated within 2 days of purchase - by jimmy hotspur - 05/16/2016 03:55PM
Same here mate. We didnt have a pot to piss in. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 03:41PM
Back in the day - Room at the Top Ilford was the place to have the party ! or The Chanticleer - a certain G Crooks attenended my BM . - by The General - 05/16/2016 03:35PM
apparently i continually shouted "****!" in greek at the priest at my christening - by Tone was 2 - 05/16/2016 03:28PM
Haha, what a load of *******s we are put through. - by Mil - 05/16/2016 03:29PM
Greek christenings are quite possibly the most boring religious ritual known to man - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 03:39PM
Only been to one, never again. - by Adders - 05/16/2016 04:27PM
at least we don't get our knobs cut off and our dicks sucked by the priest - by Tone - 05/16/2016 04:23PM
I'd rather have that done again than watch another greek christening - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 04:24PM
haha, yeah sure you would - by Tone - 05/16/2016 04:30PM
Catholic funerals tend to run on a bit - by JonnieB - 05/16/2016 03:42PM
Rumbles... - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 03:18PM
"He's a good kid..and he loves the YIDS"..haha, catchy but will have some of elders coughing into their matzo's noch? - by MarkP - 05/16/2016 03:10PM
My first Batmitzvah as a yok was about 82. I didn't really understand it all but thought the one old eccentric uncle sitting in an old SS helmet was a touch odd - by BDJ - 05/16/2016 03:14PM
Haha. - by Rumbles - 05/16/2016 03:17PM
5-1!!! hahaha - by shanghai looking at the news for the first time through my fingers - 05/16/2016 03:08PM
to relegated ten man newcastle. as kids say these days, 'SCENES!' - by Balham - 05/16/2016 03:11PM
how ****ing **** are we? - by shanghai fears for the future - 05/16/2016 03:12PM
we aren't that bad but spend big and spend early or **** off. - by Balham - 05/16/2016 03:16PM
4-4-2.......... - by NTY - 05/16/2016 03:15PM
I'm just surprised there is such a small group of us that still feel positive about this season. - by Glassy - 05/16/2016 03:17PM
I'm about as surprised there's only a small group of people who think Jimmy Saville is an excellent children's presenter - by Dougal - 05/16/2016 03:38PM

[Dr Headgear - Wannabe viking]

Cheers again