I always wanted to write these down, but never got round to it. So this place seems as good a notepad as any. This thread may get bumped.
Last night:
The carpet in the room in which I lived had to be taken up, because the coffin that was buried underneath the floor needed exhuming, as the lid hadn’t been fastened shut properly. I had arranged to pay Bernie Ecclestone £40 for one of his boys to come round and do the job but there was a problem when the lifting gear couldn’t raise the coffin, and had damaged it. The bloke also had another job to go to at Heathrow Airport, and was getting impatient.
Later I was working in an office with dinosaurs roaming around in it. I was a bit frightened but had been assured that ‘they don’t bite’. I may have been squashed by one though.