I'm not around on Saturday so someone else will have to do the Spurs one.
Ribbons of yellow ochre filth hanging from your arse is no joke, I can tell you.
And, this colour?
Shall I send you a photograph?
There has been some vomiting, I'm not going to lie.
Have Asian bivalves finally given me hepatatis, r?
if so, seek a REAL f**king doctor.