I still hanker after a luncheon of fish and chips, by the sea, in a steamy restaurant - possibly accompanied by a cup of tea. Last week, however, I bottled it due to the clientele being old and common.

How can I achieve my culimary goal without being mocked? I assume one doesn't book in advance in these places - but when I enter, should I sit myself, or will there be a maitre d' to assist me?