Nobody is having to make anything up, are they?
Like Gore-Bown, I shall find my Shiwa Ng'andu and build my Africa House.
They won't be able to steal my cock from there.
to choose between any of them either way. So, I suppose, the weirdos have a point there, at least.
I prefer dogs because they're bigger (than bitches, I mean). That's it.
They'd probably have it off you and sell it to an impotent chineser on the black market. You can't trust anyone with your cock these days.
You haven't thought this through.