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Type: Posts; User: Sir C

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    I'm told it's a step up from a Travelodge. :-(

    I'm told it's a step up from a Travelodge. :-(
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    The doctor told me to cut down on salt, so I did....

    The doctor told me to cut down on salt, so I did. For a whole week I used less salt than normal.

    Made precisely fúck all difference.

    Doctors are ****s.
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    My arteries have had two years without fags, i....

    My arteries have had two years without fags, i. Surely they've been flushed through with the good blood by now?
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    Resting heart rate?

    54. I'm like an Olympic fúcking athlete.

    How come my blood pressure is on the edge of requiring medication?

    Bodies are ****s.
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    Are you suggesting that your glw is a right...

    Are you suggesting that your glw is a right minger? :-(
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    I've got to go to a birthday party at Maidstone...

    I've got to go to a birthday party at Maidstone Utd football ground next weekend. And I've been booked into the Maidstone Premier Inn. :cry:

    Maidstone. Premier Inn. This must all be your fault you...
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    He's awfully good, isn't he? He does miss a few,...

    He's awfully good, isn't he? He does miss a few, mind. I suppose Tel did too. It's hard to remember.
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    That's because he was buried underneath it. For...

    That's because he was buried underneath it. For millions of years. He was killed in a fight with Raquel Welch in a fur bikini.
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    You only feel that ways because you’re too young...

    You only feel that ways because you’re too young to remember the real North Bank, whence he came.

    He’s one of us, the great green slipper wearing galoot.
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    Monty, insufferable? As if!

    Monty, insufferable? As if!
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    Watching Pepe I realised I kept wanting to say,...

    Watching Pepe I realised I kept wanting to say, "Unlucky Theo."

    £72 million? :hehe:
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    Arsène to come home, you mean?

    Arsène to come home, you mean?
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    I might move to the Andaman Islands. Not the dry...

    I might move to the Andaman Islands. Not the dry one. Or the one with the homicidal savages though. A nice beach, a bamboo shack, no WiFi and no football. That’s what I need.
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    Consider the dignity of The Arsenal, g. This is...

    Consider the dignity of The Arsenal, g. This is making me depressed.
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    Just realistic, b. 22 lads chasing a ball around...

    Just realistic, b. 22 lads chasing a ball around like junior school kids? We’re supposed to be The Arsenal, for all love.
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    Dog and Duck 0 Royal Arsenal 3

    We’re a pub team playing against pub teams, boys.

    How did it come to this?
  17. Thread: I'm concerned

    by Sir C
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    The ol' jug trick, eh? Very wise.

    The ol' jug trick, eh? Very wise.
  18. Thread: I'm concerned

    by Sir C
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    I haven't has a breakfast kipper for years. The...

    I haven't has a breakfast kipper for years. The problem is the all day kipper belches which inevitably follow.
  19. Thread: I'm concerned

    by Sir C
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    Did it have hard boiled eggs in?

    Did it have hard boiled eggs in?
  20. Thread: I'm concerned

    by Sir C
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    Bacon and eggs? Corn flakes? Kippers? Kedgeree?

    Bacon and eggs? Corn flakes? Kippers?

    Kedgeree?
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    Haha I've just seen the self-denunciation. ...

    Haha I've just seen the self-denunciation.

    This leftist dystopia in which we're living is deeply scary.
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    Has he made some grovelling apology? I bet he...

    Has he made some grovelling apology? I bet he has.

    I'd actually have a scintilla of respect for him if he said, "So I used not to be as woke as I am now, so fúcking what?"

    Apart from the...
  23. I’d love to b but I have to work. How come...

    I’d love to b but I have to work.

    How come berni is responsible for the sun shining?
  24. Yes, it would appear that mediocrity is what we...

    Yes, it would appear that mediocrity is what we have to look forward to for the foreseeable future.

    Have you had to register with the EUSSR to ensure you will be able to remain in situ?
  25. There you are. Home from the desert. How was it?

    There you are. Home from the desert. How was it?
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