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  1. You talk **** mate. You're worse than Tony making...

    You talk **** mate. You're worse than Tony making up stories about his gambling winnings imvho
  2. The balls are much smaller and lighter than our...

    The balls are much smaller and lighter than our adult rugby balls mate. You would easily be able to launch it from one end of the pitch to the other, especially with your inflated bicep from all that...
  3. Im going to take a massive drugs overdose everybody

    and its all arsene's fault im afraid. this is serious ive updated my twitter and facebook to tell people not to worry if i dont answer any calls and not to come round knocking cos i wont answer the...
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    Most of the players do care and its not a lack of...

    Most of the players do care and its not a lack of effort that leads to our pathetic continual defeats. Its the fact most of the them are ****. Especially the fake defense
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    Just fvck off wenger you clueless cvnt

    im not sure if i can hang on until his contract expires. if the horror scenario happens and he gets another contract i am going to kill myself and thats a promise.
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    Arsenal FC are an embarrassement Im afraid

    Going after a player we cant afford and so unsettle a player and the club. Why go shopping in Waitrose when you can only afford Lidl? We have form doing this kind of thing. You should know beforehand...
  7. Shut your mouth bully. You are just a sour faced...

    Shut your mouth bully. You are just a sour faced Labour fanboy who is desperate for England to fail so you can smug it to the brave Brexiteers. But yes you are right she was a bit of a saucy sort...
  8. I have not bought any new clothes for 6 or 7...

    I have not bought any new clothes for 6 or 7 years. I wait until they are literally falling apart. My complete set of underwear are riddled with holes. Ive been meaning to purchase a new set of...
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    Proof I have psychic superpowers

    I was taking my bubblebath a little ealier and found myself humming along to a tune which turned out to be something called 'Raspberry Berret' by Prince. I have never previously known this songs...
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    There is fact to this, Sir C. Every single time I...

    There is fact to this, Sir C. Every single time I eat Cereal with Milk (I just cant help it sometimes), I soil my pants. I forgot Id eaten a bowl of Granola before going for a walk on New Years day...
  11. Oh Herbert no :-( youve been made to look a...

    Oh Herbert no :-( youve been made to look a fool. Just like that thick clumsy cvnt Dianne Abbot. Why are all Labour supporters such dangerously stupid morons? You were my hero Herbert but its all...
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    I prefer all red. Makes us look less cartoony...

    I prefer all red. Makes us look less cartoony imvho. Id prefer if we went further and added some black trim and made it permanent.

    As for Ozil, I take this as him having a medical somewhere at his...
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    But you cashed out before the end for a handsome...

    But you cashed out before the end for a handsome profit, right?
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    Where are all you cretins

    who spend all day on this forum on your employers time yet are nowhere to be seen on your own holiday time or weekends? Quite happy to steal money from the people who pay your wages and no doubt some...
  15. He was browsing a more severe level of...

    He was browsing a more severe level of pornography Herbert, probably involving animals. Do you approve of animal porn Herbert? I must say, I am disgusted with you.
  16. I dont mean to frighten or worry you Sir C but I...

    I dont mean to frighten or worry you Sir C but I think you are not long for a divorce. Ive seen all the signs with your, all too regular posts about dining in alone because your missus is out...
  17. There is nothing worse on earth than the high pitch shriek of an excited child

    .......................
  18. Your just jealous cos The Donald has got some fit...

    Your just jealous cos The Donald has got some fit fanny and loads of cash imo. While you scrimp around with a moth ridden wallet and an appallingly fat ugly missus.
  19. Thread: Turds

    by Donald
    Replies
    14
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    7,298

    I think its one of Gods jokes he played on us....

    I think its one of Gods jokes he played on us. Ive been close to tears many times while locked in the lav.
  20. Thread: Turds

    by Donald
    Replies
    14
    Views
    7,298

    Do you not ever have emergency wons Pat? The wons...

    Do you not ever have emergency wons Pat? The wons which block the toilet and have you barracaded in the traps for hours and relatives wondering where you are?
  21. Thread: Turds

    by Donald
    Replies
    14
    Views
    7,298

    I think I will need a bag one day. My anoos has...

    I think I will need a bag one day. My anoos has taken too much abuse over the years (not cock abuse, just my fingers)
  22. Thread: Turds

    by Donald
    Replies
    14
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    7,298

    Hmmm I tried this manoeuvre once and it didnt end...

    Hmmm I tried this manoeuvre once and it didnt end well. Thats all I am prepared to say.
  23. Thread: Turds

    by Donald
    Replies
    14
    Views
    7,298

    Turds

    What percentage of your turds are easy wipe clean? Mine used to be circa 90% horrific, emergency clean up operations and 10% ok. Due to a change in diet I have literally spun that around to 90%...
  24. Not a single word of thanks or note of appreciation

    for my Christmas jingle below. Thats the last time I make the effort for you guys with quality content. Phuck off everyone imo.
  25. Id like to share a little Christmas jingle I wrote

    Enjoy


    Ding dong dee ding dong dong
    ding ding dong ding ding dong
    ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing dong

    dibby dib dib doo
    dibby dib dib dee
    dib dib dob dob dib dib deee
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