I have virtually bankrupted myself in purchasing a house in Wimbledon... The whole

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Originally Posted by Sir C

It doesn't bear thinking about, does it? Imagine the starining required to pass such a monster? Consider the concomitant haemorrhoids and the potential for rectal lesions! :yikes:

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I can only assume they never, ever eat fruit or vegetables, so these monsters gestate in their colons for weeks, gaining mass, until finally gravity demands their bloody exit.

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Originally Posted by Burney

I can only assume they never, ever eat fruit or vegetables, so these monsters gestate in their colons for weeks, gaining mass, until finally gravity demands their bloody exit.

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:-| :-| Stop now.

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Originally Posted by Burney

An email had to go around the other month because someone had literally sprayed sh1t all over the inside of the lavatory door.

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ah, a job for the Human Resources department, no doubt. :-(

One has to remember, it must be quite embarrassing for someone to own up to slurry spraying the inside of the cubicle.However, what would they have done if someone had come to use the trap straight after they'd finished?

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Originally Posted by Rich

:-| :-| Stop now.

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You must occasionally deal with humans, r, in your line of work.

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Originally Posted by IUFG

ah, a job for the Human Resources department, no doubt. :-(

One has to remember, it must be quite embarrassing for someone to own up to slurry spraying the inside of the cubicle.However, what would they have done if someone had come to use the trap straight after they'd finished?

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Oh, surely you'd hide in there until you were sure everyone had gone, wouldn't you?

Talking of HR, I've got a nasty feeling I may have to have words with someone about their personal hygiene. Any tips?

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Originally Posted by Burney

You'll have to buy a new lavatory seat, r. Burn the old one.

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The worst I’ve witnessed are the toilets on a hospital ward. Even the floors didn’t escape the ‘decorations’ :puke:

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Originally Posted by Burney

Talking of HR, I've got a nasty feeling I may have to have words with someone about their personal hygiene. Any tips?

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Aha. this old chestnut.

Do it privately (obvs)
Come from you have noticed (not others) the body odour
state the business case - customers, colleagues, etc
Be 'gentle' with them, but direct and to the point, deal with the facts.
ask them what the company can do to help them, etc

maybe approach it from the 'we've noticed you stink, do you have any medical issues that may affect your body odour that we need to be aware of?". possibly change the wording slightly.

Are there any cultural issues to take into consideration, etc?

never an easy one...

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Originally Posted by IUFG

Aha. this old chestnut.

Do it privately (obvs)
Come from you have noticed (not others) the body odour
state the business case - customers, colleagues, etc
Be 'gentle' with them, but direct and to the point, deal with the facts.
ask them what the company can do to help them, etc

maybe approach it from the 'we've noticed you stink, do you have any medical issues that may affect your body odour that we need to be aware of?". possibly change the wording slightly.

Are there any cultural issues to take into consideration, etc?

never an easy one...

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'Cultural issues'? Do you mean 'Is he a foreigner?' No.

So you think just leaving an anonymous note on his desk isn't the way to go, then? :-(

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Originally Posted by Burney

So you think just leaving an anonymous note on his desk isn't the way to go, then? :-(

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Possibly. With a tin of deodorant, also.












hang on. you might want to put a ribbon around the deodorant.

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Originally Posted by Burney

'Cultural issues'? Do you mean 'Is he a foreigner?' No.

So you think just leaving an anonymous note on his desk isn't the way to go, then? :-(

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This is the best approach, for sure. Just make sure you use a printer in case the chap is an expert in handwriting analysis.