https://www.theguardian.com/society/...e-cyber-attack
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I called the NHS to make an appointment today, because my wobbles aren't improving. I was offered an appointment on 25th May.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I've found a private doctor who will see me on Sunday.
Note how it works: I pay the government for my healthcare, they give the job to the NHS, the NHS fails to deliver, so I pay for my healthcare.
This country has become a load of ****. Fúck your (not 'your') NHS.
Oh dear. Are we going to have to help you to bed and such in the absence of your glw?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
But what about the nurses?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
from what I understand this is very important before any election.
They don't even have nice outfits. :nurse:
I'm actually quite wobbly this afternoon. I can manage pretty well everything fine except going to the toilet. Would you mind just holding my little chap for me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I was at a private hospital yesterday and the nurses weren't wearing Benny Hill Show nurses uniforms. It's digusting, you pay all that money and there's not a pair of fishnets in sight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Vegas
I think they are now unisexQuote:
Originally Posted by Pat Vegas
:-(
I was once given a supposetory by a male nurse
He was gay
:-(
:-\ Have you got some tweezers a chap might use?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Did he keep his hands on your shoulders when he administered it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas
I was shaved downstairs by a gay nurse man in Dublin. :-(
:nod: I'd say it was suspiciously warm as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
My eyes were closed because I could not believe it was happeningQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
He took longer than expected and afterwards he went off duty
...to wash his cockQuote:
Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas
Didn't even leave you his number? What a bitch.Quote:
Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas
Which pub was this?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
The Spud and Star AniseQuote:
Originally Posted by SWv2
I do not like the cut of your jib Vegas.Quote:
Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas
:-) I was going to make a similar joke myself, but thought I'd be charitable and leave the tap-in for someone else.Quote:
Originally Posted by SWv2
It was in St Vincent's prior to them unnecessarily cutting my perfectly healthy appendix.
The doctor said: "Turns out it was only gastro-enteritis, but since we had you open anyway, we thought we might as well take it out." :-|
The obvious question (to me) is why you were having medical procedures carried out here?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I had that camera down the throat thing done in Vincents. Now there was a doctor who can count himself lucky to have not been chinned.
I was on holiday and fell poorly (i.e. started shïtting myself inside out). Some gobshïte doctor poked both sides of my abdomen, both hurt, so he packed me off to St VsQuote:
Originally Posted by SWv2
Wouldn't it have been safer to get you medevaced back to civilisation? Some fúcking Paddy with bone through his nose in a mud hut peering into the chicken's entrails is not the way forward when you need medical care.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Oh, it got very awkward as my uncle and namesake got involved, summoned forth his family physician at great expense to see to me. This sage being the self-same gobshíte who couldn't diagnose a broken fùcking leg. :rolleyes: I'd have been better off with the witch doctor.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I expect he received the finest medical care known to man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
That is how we roll in Ireland. We love all god's children.