There are a million videos on youtube showing you how to cook every dish

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03-21-2019, 04:20 PM
Sir C

There are a million videos on youtube showing you how to cook every dish

imaginable. You'd imagine that, having decided to go to the trouble of filming a recipe, the chefs in question would ensure that they have a clue about what they're doing. This is rarely the case.

Most frequent is the misuse of olive oil. I've just watched someone heat a frying pan until it's smoking hot, then pour in a tablespoon of olive oil, which of course immediately became burned and bitter, but better still, the **** then added a load of garlic, which instantly... you know the score.

It was easy to learn to cook, back in the day. You did what Delia told you, and Delia never gave you a bum steer. These days I pity anyone trying to learn from tinternet. It's full of charlatans.
03-21-2019, 04:36 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

imaginable. You'd imagine that, having decided to go to the trouble of filming a recipe, the chefs in question would ensure that they have a clue about what they're doing. This is rarely the case.

Most frequent is the misuse of olive oil. I've just watched someone heat a frying pan until it's smoking hot, then pour in a tablespoon of olive oil, which of course immediately became burned and bitter, but better still, the **** then added a load of garlic, which instantly... you know the score.

It was easy to learn to cook, back in the day. You did what Delia told you, and Delia never gave you a bum steer. These days I pity anyone trying to learn from tinternet. It's full of charlatans.

But both Delia and the Beeb have online recipes. I know they don't have videos but you know, some people can still read and write.

Also, there are some great recipes in French. They can cook, you know, the frogs. Try oeufs en meurette but with little crutons with foie gras.

I'm cooking for us both tonight. The old classic. Tournedos fillets with roquefort sauce + gratin dauphinoise with balsmaic caramelised onions. And for a change, some garlic mushrooms too, cos I fancy some.

Bought a fresh baguette simply so I can dip it in the roquefort sauce as I cook it. Just to make sure the sauce is coming on fine, you understand. Not cos I'm a vulgar glutton that could quite happily live on fresh baguette dipped into various french cheese sauces. {My mate's fondue last month was as good as any I've had.}
03-21-2019, 04:38 PM
PSRB

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

imaginable. You'd imagine that, having decided to go to the trouble of filming a recipe, the chefs in question would ensure that they have a clue about what they're doing. This is rarely the case.

Most frequent is the misuse of olive oil. I've just watched someone heat a frying pan until it's smoking hot, then pour in a tablespoon of olive oil, which of course immediately became burned and bitter, but better still, the **** then added a load of garlic, which instantly... you know the score.

It was easy to learn to cook, back in the day. You did what Delia told you, and Delia never gave you a bum steer. These days I pity anyone trying to learn from tinternet. It's full of charlatans.

Strongly considering one of these https://www.t3.com/news/thermomix-tm6
03-21-2019, 04:56 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSRB

Strongly considering one of these https://www.t3.com/news/thermomix-tm6

I remain skeptical about gadgets, p. I fear you'll love it for a fortnight and then put it ina cupboard where it will rot away.
03-21-2019, 04:58 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

But both Delia and the Beeb have online recipes. I know they don't have videos but you know, some people can still read and write.

Also, there are some great recipes in French. They can cook, you know, the frogs. Try oeufs en meurette but with little crutons with foie gras.

I'm cooking for us both tonight. The old classic. Tournedos fillets with roquefort sauce + gratin dauphinoise with balsmaic caramelised onions. And for a change, some garlic mushrooms too, cos I fancy some.

Bought a fresh baguette simply so I can dip it in the roquefort sauce as I cook it. Just to make sure the sauce is coming on fine, you understand. Not cos I'm a vulgar glutton that could quite happily live on fresh baguette dipped into various french cheese sauces. {My mate's fondue last month was as good as any I've had.}

The Beeb doesn't give you sexy Vietnamese girls teaching you to make banh mi.

Plus, how very, very dare you! My oeufs en meurette are famous from here to Foots Cray and beyond! The secret is the quality of the wine. Only a heavy Burgundy will do.
03-21-2019, 04:58 PM
PSRB

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

I remain skeptical about gadgets, p. I fear you'll love it for a fortnight and then put it ina cupboard where it will rot away.

I'm rather hopeful (as per the blurb) that it will enable me to put the other gadgets away (sell) and just have that one (and the Kitchenaid) on show :-)
03-21-2019, 05:07 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Only a heavy Burgundy will do.

You best not sip any of it on a schoolnight, sc.

:lightweight:
03-21-2019, 05:08 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSRB

I'm rather hopeful (as per the blurb) that it will enable me to put the other gadgets away (sell) and just have that one (and the Kitchenaid) on show :-)

Do you just throw in the ingredients and it spits out a meal in [insert time here] minutes?
03-21-2019, 05:09 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSRB

I'm rather hopeful (as per the blurb) that it will enable me to put the other gadgets away (sell) and just have that one (and the Kitchenaid) on show :-)

There are three gadgets in my kitchen. Kettle, toaster and coffee machine.
03-21-2019, 05:11 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

The Beeb doesn't give you sexy Vietnamese girls teaching you to make banh mi.

Plus, how very, very dare you! My oeufs en meurette are famous from here to Foots Cray and beyond! The secret is the quality of the wine. Only a heavy Burgundy will do.

But do you have foie gras crutons? Of course you'd use a heavy burgundy - the dish is from there and you're making a sauce.

But you really need to make the crutons by spreading foie gras thickly onto a slice of toast and then cutting into cruton size.

Little nibbles of joy in the midst of the dish.
03-21-2019, 05:12 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

There are three gadgets in my kitchen. Kettle, toaster and coffee machine.

I'm inclined to agree. I do use a stick blender on occasion, but that's about it really. A pestle and mortar and some decent knives and you're covered.
03-21-2019, 05:12 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

But do you have foie gras crutons? Of course you'd use a heavy burgundy - the dish is from there and you're making a sauce.

But you really need to make the crutons by spreading foie gras thickly onto a slice of toast and then cutting into cruton size.

Little nibbles of joy in the midst of the dish.

Is this actual foie gras or paté de foie gras?
03-21-2019, 05:13 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

The Beeb doesn't give you sexy Vietnamese girls teaching you to make banh mi.

Plus, how very, very dare you! My oeufs en meurette are famous from here to Foots Cray and beyond! The secret is the quality of the wine. Only a heavy Burgundy will do.

If we ever do get out of Europe all that poncy foreign muck'll be outlawed mind! - Boiled beef and cabbage will become mandatory and anyone trying to sex it up with poncy herbs will end up tasting nothing more than the leather of the Doc Marten of one of Conducator Farage's Revolutionary Guards - ya feckin big poncy ponce you are!
03-21-2019, 05:14 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Is this actual foie gras or paté de foie gras?

I bet you two ****s went to the same public school :hehe:
03-21-2019, 05:17 PM
PSRB

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUFG

Do you just throw in the ingredients and it spits out a meal in [insert time here] minutes?

Sort of, just one machine to do all the steps for a multitude of recipes......not quite Star Trek canteen, yet
03-21-2019, 05:56 PM
barrybueno

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

If we ever do get out of Europe all that poncy foreign muck'll be outlawed mind! - Boiled beef and cabbage will become mandatory and anyone trying to sex it up with poncy herbs will end up tasting nothing more than the leather of the Doc Marten of one of Conducator Farage's Revolutionary Guards - ya feckin big poncy ponce you are!

chuckle chuckle
03-21-2019, 07:12 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Is this actual foie gras or paté de foie gras?

Proper foie gras. Smeared on thick. {Duck generally. Because 1. And old raver mate makes it outside Toulouse. Built my speakers*, too. 2. I'm a skint pleb who can't justify paying the goose premium any more.} So the cruton is basically a cube of which one side is toast and the other is foie gras.

Please try. I'd be honoured if I could show you something that improved one of your dishes in the same way you've helped some of mine.

*Monitors. 15" bass driver and 1.25" compression horn. Active and passive crossover. 1/2kw each. Sounds great with my 1kw amp. But they sounded even better when I used the 3k bass amp I'd used to power the 3 x 18" bass scoops I got off the Jiba sound system. But some theiving wop knicked the scoops and the bass amp off our traveller site in Anzio when we all went to Spain to do a festy outside Barca. Wops = ****s, mostly. I only impart this info to try and find whether we have any secret ravers amongst us. Or secret wops.
03-21-2019, 07:32 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I bet you two ****s went to the same public school :hehe:

Nah.

I went to one not far from Berni's though. And on my only occasion that I represented the old place at sport, I turned over his school's team at their gaff in the under 14s B-team rugby. Scrum half, me. I'm tiny for a rugby player.

Played club rugby for the old boys' team's youth sections. We called his lot Old Wives. Whitgift, see? I guess that's public school humour. The one down the road from him is called Trinity. Or Mid-Whitgift. So they were called Old Mid Wives.

Bet your sides are splitting, Herbs. You can see why I told mummy and daddy that if they didn't put me in the state sector after o-levels, I'd run off and join the PLO. {Sexiest headscarfs. Didn't care much about the politics.}

But if you wanna pîss off B, go to the Whitgift [shopping] Centre in Croydon. I've seen more civilisation in Haitian slums. Then pretend you thought he'd gone to school there.

Do they still have Alders dept. store?
03-21-2019, 09:38 PM
Alberto Balsam Rodriguez

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSRB

Strongly considering one of these https://www.t3.com/news/thermomix-tm6

One shouldn't follow recipes to the letter. One should research a few different methods used to make a dish, use one's own experience and try to make the dish in one's own way.

There is no reason why an imaginative cook cannot be a good cook.
03-22-2019, 12:35 AM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alberto Balsam Rodriguez

One shouldn't follow recipes to the letter. One should research a few different methods used to make a dish, use one's own experience and try to make the dish in one's own way.

There is no reason why an imaginative cook cannot be a good cook.

Er, goes without sayin', init?
03-22-2019, 07:48 AM
Maravilloso Marvo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

But if you wanna pîss off B, go to the Whitgift [shopping] Centre in Croydon. I've seen more civilisation in Haitian slums. Then pretend you thought he'd gone to school there.

Do they still have Alders dept. store?

:hehe: The same works with Sir C and St Mary's Cray. He gets so annoyed if you say he lives there because we all know it is really St Paul's Cray...

Allders has died a death now. the group went bust a good few years back after Terry Green (no relation to Philip) took them over as they went private and drove the business into the ground. The whole deal was dodgy as Minerva were only interested in the Croydon land as it was all going to be redeveloped and make them squillions but it all went tits up instead. Allders in Croydon stayed on a bit longer than the rest of the group as somebody else bought it and ran it as an independent stand alone store. It was never quite the same as the old place though and that also went bust a couple of years ago.
03-22-2019, 07:53 AM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Proper foie gras. Smeared on thick. {Duck generally. Because 1. And old raver mate makes it outside Toulouse. Built my speakers*, too. 2. I'm a skint pleb who can't justify paying the goose premium any more.} So the cruton is basically a cube of which one side is toast and the other is foie gras.

Please try. I'd be honoured if I could show you something that improved one of your dishes in the same way you've helped some of mine.

*Monitors. 15" bass driver and 1.25" compression horn. Active and passive crossover. 1/2kw each. Sounds great with my 1kw amp. But they sounded even better when I used the 3k bass amp I'd used to power the 3 x 18" bass scoops I got off the Jiba sound system. But some theiving wop knicked the scoops and the bass amp off our traveller site in Anzio when we all went to Spain to do a festy outside Barca. Wops = ****s, mostly. I only impart this info to try and find whether we have any secret ravers amongst us. Or secret wops.

Sadly, fresh foie gras is in short supply in the Cray valley.
03-22-2019, 10:08 AM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Sadly, fresh foie gras is in short supply in the Cray valley.

You know that restaurant on Ile St Louis? He sells his own at €15 per 100g. If I had vacuum sealer I could send you some. But I don't. Can't think how else to do it. If you can think of a way, let me know and we can PM bank details and address.