Genuine question. If No Deal Brexit, do I have any right to stay in France after the

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03-21-2019, 10:35 AM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Genuine question. If No Deal Brexit, do I have any right to stay in France after the

29th of March?

I was gonna come back next week but an old friend wants me to help her move tat on the 28th, so was looking for a flight* on the 30th.

Could the Frogs refuse to let me leave and nick me?

Gonna have to get a flight cos French customs on a work to rule at Eurostar and Calais to show Macron that in the event of no deal, they will need lots more customs officers and massive pay rises.

Got stuck in the general strike in '95 here so I know what these union types can do.

Anyway, can I book my ticket or should I make it a day earlier?

*Generally get the coach for a tenner nowadays as the money saved pays for foie gras or a decent bottle of claret. But don't fancy 6 hours queuing at Calais, thank you very much.
03-21-2019, 10:38 AM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

29th of March?

I was gonna come back next week but an old friend wants me to help her move tat on the 28th, so was looking for a flight* on the 30th.

Could the Frogs refuse to let me leave and nick me?

Gonna have to get a flight cos French customs on a work to rule at Eurostar and Calais to show Macron that in the event of no deal, they will need lots more customs officers and massive pay rises.

Got stuck in the general strike in '95 here so I know what these union types can do.

Anyway, can I book my ticket or should I make it a day earlier?

*Generally get the coach for a tenner nowadays as the money saved pays for foie gras or a decent bottle of claret. But don't fancy 6 hours queuing at Calais, thank you very much.

Don't worry about it g. It's not going to happen. We won't leave the EU on 29th March. I doubt we'll ever leave the EU; certainly not in any meaningful sense.

Nothing is going to happen which might interfere with the likes of La Toynbee getting to her Tuscan villa. The Bien Pensants simply won't have it.
03-21-2019, 11:14 AM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

29th of March?

I was gonna come back next week but an old friend wants me to help her move tat on the 28th, so was looking for a flight* on the 30th.

Could the Frogs refuse to let me leave and nick me?

Gonna have to get a flight cos French customs on a work to rule at Eurostar and Calais to show Macron that in the event of no deal, they will need lots more customs officers and massive pay rises.

Got stuck in the general strike in '95 here so I know what these union types can do.

Anyway, can I book my ticket or should I make it a day earlier?

*Generally get the coach for a tenner nowadays as the money saved pays for foie gras or a decent bottle of claret. But don't fancy 6 hours queuing at Calais, thank you very much.

Yo have no rights anyway ganp - you are a travelling brigand and rabble rouser who will soon be arrested and thrown into jail.

You can fascinate your rather beefy cell mate with your detailed grasp of parliamentary process but he will bugger you anyway.
03-21-2019, 11:16 AM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Don't worry about it g. It's not going to happen. We won't leave the EU on 29th March. I doubt we'll ever leave the EU; certainly not in any meaningful sense.

Nothing is going to happen which might interfere with the likes of La Toynbee getting to her Tuscan villa. The Bien Pensants simply won't have it.

Oh do stop crying like a baby all the time will you.
03-21-2019, 11:33 AM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Oh do stop crying like a baby all the time will you.

I'm not crying, h. But neither am I wrong.
03-21-2019, 11:40 AM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

I'm not crying, h. But neither am I wrong.

Damn! I had a fiver on a jobbee comeback.
03-21-2019, 12:14 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Yo have no rights anyway ganp - you are a travelling brigand and rabble rouser who will soon be arrested and thrown into jail.

You can fascinate your rather beefy cell mate with your detailed grasp of parliamentary process but he will bugger you anyway.

That's nothing, H. I've just had to explain to the FCO in London what the F and the C actually stand for and why there not the same.

Seriously. I rang up London cos the Paris embassy phone line wasn't working and after a chat, get told to go to the website of the Paris High Commission.

We don't have a high commission in Paris, say I.
Yes we do.
No we don't. It'll be an embassy.
No. It's a high commission.
No. We only have high commissions in Commonwealth countries and France isn't in the commonwealth, so it's an embassy.
Let me check......... Oh. You're right.

This institution used to run 20% of the globe, H. Now they don't even know what their own name means and what the difference between being a full forreigner and a civilised commonwealther is.

I think we should get the Indians over to run us.
03-21-2019, 12:18 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

Damn! I had a fiver on a jobbee comeback.

I am a little disappointed too a.
03-21-2019, 12:28 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

That's nothing, H. I've just had to explain to the FCO in London what the F and the C actually stand for and why there not the same.

Seriously. I rang up London cos the Paris embassy phone line wasn't working and after a chat, get told to go to the website of the Paris High Commission.

We don't have a high commission in Paris, say I.
Yes we do.
No we don't. It'll be an embassy.
No. It's a high commission.
No. We only have high commissions in Commonwealth countries and France isn't in the commonwealth, so it's an embassy.
Let me check......... Oh. You're right.

This institution used to run 20% of the globe, H. Now they don't even know what their own name means and what the difference between being a full forreigner and a civilised commonwealther is.

I think we should get the Indians over to run us.

I'm not sure I share your love of all things Indian. I work in IT and must say that even the competent ones tend to be very messy.

You must have had your fair share of Indian fillies ganp. Is it true that they are capable of the most extraordinary physical feats? My mate up the pub reckons he knew an Indian bird who could pop a ping-pong ball three feet in the air with her fanny then catch it with her arse'ole. Is this common?
03-21-2019, 12:34 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

Damn! I had a fiver on a jobbee comeback.

I never bandy jobbies willy billy, a.
03-21-2019, 12:36 PM
Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I'm not sure I share your love of all things Indian. I work in IT and must say that even the competent ones tend to be very messy.

You must have had your fair share of Indian fillies ganp. Is it true that they are capable of the most extraordinary physical feats? My mate up the pub reckons he knew an Indian bird who could pop a ping-pong ball three feet in the air with her fanny then catch it with her arse'ole. Is this common?

I wouldn't have thought so. They don't really seem to be into ping pong. Are you sure it wasn't a shuttlecock? Or is your mate in the pub mixing my boys up with the Chinks?
03-21-2019, 12:42 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I work in IT and must say that even the competent ones tend to be very messy.

you missed out SH there, h

: plumber:
03-21-2019, 01:02 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I'm not sure I share your love of all things Indian. I work in IT and must say that even the competent ones tend to be very messy.

You mean they don't indent and comment their code properly?
03-21-2019, 01:17 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

You mean they don't indent and comment their code properly?

Have you ever watched ‘Silicon Valley’, a?

There’s a whole bit where a lead character breaks up with a new girlfriend because she doesn’t indent. :hehe:
03-21-2019, 01:36 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Have you ever watched ‘Silicon Valley’, a?

There’s a whole bit where a lead character breaks up with a new girlfriend because she doesn’t indent. :hehe:

=IF($Q27=1,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$4,$O27<W$4),AND($N27>W $5,$O27>W$5)),0,1),IF($Q27=2,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$8,$O 27<W$8),AND($N27>W$9,$O27>W$9)),0,1),IF($Q27=3,IF( OR(AND($N27<W$12,$O27<W$12),AND($N27>W$13,$O27>W$1 3)),0,1),IF($Q27=4,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$16,$O27<W$16), AND($N27>W$17,$O27>W$17)),0,1)))))

This is what happens when you have to write a complex conditional cell expression in Excel. It fits bookings into time-slots and the only way to design it was to write it in beautifully-indented pseudo-code so I could literally see the logical flow, then turn it into the gibberish up there.
03-21-2019, 01:47 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

=IF($Q27=1,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$4,$O27<W$4),AND($N27>W $5,$O27>W$5)),0,1),IF($Q27=2,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$8,$O 27<W$8),AND($N27>W$9,$O27>W$9)),0,1),IF($Q27=3,IF( OR(AND($N27<W$12,$O27<W$12),AND($N27>W$13,$O27>W$1 3)),0,1),IF($Q27=4,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$16,$O27<W$16), AND($N27>W$17,$O27>W$17)),0,1)))))

This is what happens when you have to write a complex conditional cell expression in Excel. It fits bookings into time-slots and the only way to design it was to write it in beautifully-indented pseudo-code so I could literally see the logical flow, then turn it into the gibberish up there.

Mate, I’m sure you’re right, but I’m really hoping to be able to get to the end of my career without ever understanding what you’re on about :shrug:

Any idea how much it should cost to develop an app that allows us to stream video content, btw?
Being quoted 5k, but that sounds toppish to me. Mind you, I have literally fùck all clue.
03-21-2019, 02:02 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Mate, I’m sure you’re right, but I’m really hoping to be able to get to the end of my career without ever understanding what you’re on about :shrug:

Any idea how much it should cost to develop an app that allows us to stream video content, btw?
Being quoted 5k, but that sounds toppish to me. Mind you, I have literally fùck all clue.

:nono: You'd be surprised how satisfying it is getting something to work. Think of it like growing vegetables.

The correct answer is that software development always costs more than you think. Unless they've already done it. So ask 'em if they've done it before, and if not maybe find someone who has.
03-21-2019, 02:11 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

:nono: You'd be surprised how satisfying it is getting something to work. Think of it like growing vegetables.

The correct answer is that software development always costs more than you think. Unless they've already done it. So ask 'em if they've done it before, and if not maybe find someone who has.

This is what I think. I’m fùcked if I’m dropping 5k to be sold an off-the-shelf solution they developed years ago.
03-21-2019, 02:16 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

=IF($Q27=1,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$4,$O27<W$4),AND($N27>W $5,$O27>W$5)),0,1),IF($Q27=2,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$8,$O 27<W$8),AND($N27>W$9,$O27>W$9)),0,1),IF($Q27=3,IF( OR(AND($N27<W$12,$O27<W$12),AND($N27>W$13,$O27>W$1 3)),0,1),IF($Q27=4,IF(OR(AND($N27<W$16,$O27<W$16), AND($N27>W$17,$O27>W$17)),0,1)))))

This is what happens when you have to write a complex conditional cell expression in Excel. It fits bookings into time-slots and the only way to design it was to write it in beautifully-indented pseudo-code so I could literally see the logical flow, then turn it into the gibberish up there.

I got a little pang of pride when this worked this morning

=IFERROR((ROUND(INDEX('Labour'!$BO$4:$CO$215,MATCH ($A17,'Labour'!$BO$4:$BO$215,0),MATCH('req'!E$7,'L abour'!$BO$4:$CO$4,0)),0)),0)

:cloud9:
03-21-2019, 02:24 PM
WES

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUFG

I got a little pang of pride when this worked this morning

=IFERROR((ROUND(INDEX('Labour'!$BO$4:$CO$215,MATCH ($A17,'Labour'!$BO$4:$BO$215,0),MATCH('req'!E$7,'L abour'!$BO$4:$CO$4,0)),0)),0)

:cloud9:

Which elderly woman with a disability on a minimum wage did that fire, IUFG?
03-21-2019, 03:03 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUFG

you missed out SH there, h

: plumber:

Et tu Brute? :-(
03-21-2019, 03:07 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

That's the least of it but yes, that is a problem. They find it hard to specify anything properly because they struggle to adopt an imperative tone - it's impolite. Some of them are brilliant though - most of them are ****e.
03-21-2019, 03:22 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by WES

Which elderly woman with a disability on a minimum wage did that fire, IUFG?

We use a random number generator for that, w ;-)
03-21-2019, 03:30 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Et tu Brute? :-(

The only pipes you use now are those connecting stdin and stdout, eh?
03-21-2019, 03:31 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

That's the least of it but yes, that is a problem. They find it hard to specify anything properly because they struggle to adopt an imperative tone - it's impolite. Some of them are brilliant though - most of them are ****e.

As long as they do the needful, that's the main thing.
03-21-2019, 03:33 PM
Herbert Augustus Chapman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash

The only pipes you use now are those connecting stdin and stdout, eh?

I haven't touched stdin & stdout or pipes for years Ash. I've been Java, JSPs & Javascript for 7 years now
03-21-2019, 03:37 PM
Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I haven't touched stdin & stdout or pipes for years Ash. I've been Java, JSPs & Javascript for 7 years now

RIP unix/c

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