Shouldn't she have grown some tits by now? Has she taken puberty blockers as some kind of eco-statement against population growth?
By this age, Emma Watson was already firmly established as wánk fodder.
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Shouldn't she have grown some tits by now? Has she taken puberty blockers as some kind of eco-statement against population growth?
By this age, Emma Watson was already firmly established as wánk fodder.
See also: Robson, LauraQuote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Are you obliquely asking us whether it's OK that you've polluted yourself while thinking about Greta Thunberg?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
You know the answer to this, m. :shakehead:
Your attitude towards 'self-pollution' always surprises me, Burney, given where you went to school.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Even to this day I believe that English public schools are a veritable celebration of the act. I would have thought your experiences would have made you indifferent to it. :rubchin:
How dare you? https://giphy.com/gifs/Qa4abAMDoyUtuICjLZ/html5Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
One of my favourite Burney stories is about him going home after having his cancerised testicle lopped off and the first thing he did was crack one off, just to check everything was still in working order.Quote:
Originally Posted by WES
He never did say who he used for 'motivation', though...
See? Not even a hint of bappage sprouting through.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I wonder what her fanny's like? :rubchin:
HERBIE!!!!!!
Lols. The Donald's told her to get back in her box.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Yes, I said, "her box".
I expect you've never woken early to find him masturbating in the kitchen. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
That's one of your 'favourite' stories? :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
I honestly can't remember. I think the desire to know that everything was shipshape and Bristol fashion was my main motivation, though.
I don't remember that story.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I think it exists only as a fantasy in his warped little 'mind'.
Neither have you. Found me, I mean. Catching me on CCTV doesn't count.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Oh, no. The story's 100% true. I mean, who wouldn't in that situation?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
At my Leaver's Service, the Reverend Frank 'Toad' Wells gave us a jolly good talking to about the dangers of committing 'acts of beastliness', so this sort of hands-on nonsense isn't something that ever crosses my mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I think you'd be permitted a special dispensation if you've just lost a clockweight and want to check that you are not wholly unmanned? I mean it was essentially medical in nature, if you think about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I can assure you that upon returning home with my hooter half-removed, the last thing on my mind was blowing it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Anyway, the reverend Frank wouldn't have agreed with you. No, he had extremely definite views on the matter, and these views were essentially, "NO!"
Odd that he failed to mention the matter until we were 18, though. Between you and I, I suspect that there were certain chaps there whose horses had already bolted, if you take my meaning.
I tried to think of it like that when I had to go to hospital to give a sperm sample. Was a bit tricky getting in the right mood in the knowledge that there was probably someone on the floor below me getting told they have 3 months to live.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Turned out the absolute f*cking mountain of porn they kindly leave for you did help me overcome that particular hurdle, tbf.
Hairy-palmed chaps, eh? I'll wager they'd started dropping catches in the outfield? Or - worse - were the sort of spavined weed who was no good at games anyway?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Anyway, since the Bible is very clear that, as a man 'wounded in the stones', I shan't be entering the Kingdom of Heaven under any circumstances, I might as well wánk myself raw for all the spiritual harm it'll do. :-(
It's an odd business, isn't it? Ejaculating in a strange room where you were well aware other men had spent their load very recently?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
In that sense it reminded me of visiting your mum's house.
More-reem, Lip-man?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Most innuendo laden name ever, imo.
Oh, no. The NHS hands out free porn now? Is there nothing these people can't do
:-(
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92