Things that are perfectly normal regardless of what one's wife says.

1/ Breaking up an eggshell with your spoon upon finishing the consumption of a boiled egg because otherwise witches will use the empty eggshells as boats and go and sink sailors' ships.

This is perfectly normal and responsible behaviour and everyone does it. FACT.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

1/ Breaking up an eggshell with your spoon upon finishing the consumption of a boiled egg because otherwise witches will use the empty eggshells as boats and go and sink sailors' ships.

This is perfectly normal and responsible behaviour and everyone does it. FACT.

---

Spending the whole of Sunday afternoon vigorously masturbating in one's wánking shed. "It's a wánking shed dear - it's what it's for!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Spending the whole of Sunday afternoon vigorously masturbating in one's wánking shed. "It's a wánking shed dear - it's what it's for!"

---

Sir C christened it a wánking shed simply because it has curtains. Now I didn't put those curtains in and neither have I ever performed acts of self-pollution behind them.

Should Sir C (or anyone else) continue to defame me in this way, they will be hearing from my lawyers.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

Sir C christened it a wánking shed simply because it has curtains. Now I didn't put those curtains in and neither have I ever performed acts of self-pollution behind them.

Should Sir C (or anyone else) continue to defame me in this way, they will be hearing from my lawyers.

---

I'm surprised you don't get complaints from the neighbours. All the grunting and groaning, the walls creaking and shaking as you frantically tug away at the ruined nub of fat and gristle once laughingly described as a pénis... :-(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

I'm surprised you don't get complaints from the neighbours. All the grunting and groaning, the walls creaking and shaking as you frantically tug away at the ruined nub of fat and gristle once laughingly described as a pénis... :-(

---

Laugh away. This is all being collated and supplied to Messrs Sue Grabbit & Runne. You'll be laughing on the other side of your face when you're up before the beak and facing ruinous damages for accusing me of lewd acts in my garden.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

I'm surprised you don't get complaints from the neighbours. All the grunting and groaning, the walls creaking and shaking as you frantically tug away at the ruined nub of fat and gristle once laughingly described as a pénis... :-(

---

One wonders how he deals with his spillage. I expect he has a flower pot or some-such?