If I went on a date with that Amelia chicken shop lady

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02-22-2017, 03:22 PM
Sir C

If I went on a date with that Amelia chicken shop lady

I'd take her to a nice restaurant, not a chicken shop.

That is why I'm such a big hit with the girls.
02-22-2017, 03:27 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

I'd take her to a nice restaurant, not a chicken shop.

That is why I'm such a big hit with the girls.

Would the Michelin stars be any compensation for your tiny, withered member and dormant libido, though? :-(
02-22-2017, 03:30 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Would the Michelin stars be any compensation for your tiny, withered member and dormant libido, though? :-(

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?
02-22-2017, 03:32 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?

That would seem reasonable. You might even get a feel of them.
02-22-2017, 03:32 PM
redgunamo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?

Oh, I gather chicken shops are just fine for that sort of thing.
02-22-2017, 03:34 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

That would seem reasonable. You might even get a feel of them.

Dear God man, what are you suggesting? I'm a married man, for Christ's sake!

Just a little look, that's all I'd ask.
02-22-2017, 03:34 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by redgunamo

Oh, I gather chicken shops are just fine for that sort of thing.

Can I be sure that all these chicken shops only use free range chicken, r?
02-22-2017, 03:36 PM
redgunamo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Can I be sure that all these chicken shops only use free range chicken, r?

I'd be surprised if any of them used any "chicken" at all :-\
02-22-2017, 03:36 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Dear God man, what are you suggesting? I'm a married man, for Christ's sake!

Just a little look, that's all I'd ask.

I don't think a feel infringes the marriage vows, does it? :-(
02-22-2017, 03:40 PM
Monty92

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

I don't think a feel infringes the marriage vows, does it? :-(

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.
02-22-2017, 03:48 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

No, not for me. If he'd met someone in a club and snogged her I'd say that was worse than slobbering on a stripper.
02-22-2017, 03:52 PM
Pokster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

What goes on tour stays on tour... and she wasn't his missus..... so he can say he has never cheated on his wife
02-22-2017, 03:54 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

Wasn't he concerned about saliva from customers earlier in the evening infesting the boobies? Perhaps he isn't worried about licking strangers' dried saliva. Might explain why he had a temperature. :shrood:
02-22-2017, 03:56 PM
Monty92

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

No, not for me. If he'd met someone in a club and snogged her I'd say that was worse than slobbering on a stripper.

Pfffffff!

So going to a prostitute on a stag do wouldn't be cheating either?
02-22-2017, 04:01 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

Pfffffff!

So going to a prostitute on a stag do wouldn't be cheating either?

Of course. That's actual sex. A stripper is more like a performance art piece. It's a sort of sexual theatre in a controlled environment where each side knows they're not actually going to have sex.

Not my cup of tea, but I wouldn't call it cheating.
02-22-2017, 04:02 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Wasn't he concerned about saliva from customers earlier in the evening infesting the boobies? Perhaps he isn't worried about licking strangers' dried saliva. Might explain why he had a temperature. :shrood:

I wouldn't go near these dirty ladies, personally.
02-22-2017, 04:05 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

I wouldn't go near these dirty ladies, personally.

I'm generally rather a fan of the stripper. I've had some of the nicest conversations with strippers. In multiple countries, on three continents, as well. wd strippers.

Thank God I don't have to go through it all at monthly intervals any more. Apart from anything else it took years off my liver :-(
02-22-2017, 04:07 PM
Monty92

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Of course. That's actual sex. A stripper is more like a performance art piece. It's a sort of sexual theatre in a controlled environment where each side knows they're not actually going to have sex.

Not my cup of tea, but I wouldn't call it cheating.

Titty sucking is tangible sexual activity, so I would argue that's cheating. I agree that watching a stripper is not cheating any more than watching porn is.
02-22-2017, 04:08 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

I'm generally rather a fan of the stripper. I've had some of the nicest conversations with strippers. In multiple countries, on three continents, as well. wd strippers.

Thank God I don't have to go through it all at monthly intervals any more. Apart from anything else it took years off my liver :-(

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.
02-22-2017, 04:09 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

Titty sucking is tangible sexual activity, so I would argue that's cheating. I agree that watching a stripper is not cheating any more than watching porn is.

What if he'd licked her legs instead? Would that be sexual activity?

I just think your definitions are getting a bit arbitrary here.
02-22-2017, 04:09 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.

Good timez, b.
02-22-2017, 04:11 PM
Luis Anaconda

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.

I met won once whose day job was as in the costume department at the Royal Opera House. I rather liked the juxtaposition of the two roles. At least that's what she said
02-22-2017, 04:12 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

What if he'd licked her legs instead? Would that be sexual activity?

I just think your definitions are getting a bit arbitrary here.

Oh, I wouldn't recommend it. Not at all. They get quite dreadfully sweaty on the pole, you know.
02-22-2017, 04:13 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

I met won once whose day job was as in the costume department at the Royal Opera House. I rather liked the juxtaposition of the two roles. At least that's what she said

I bet she juxtaposed your roles, eh? Eh? Amirite?
02-22-2017, 04:33 PM
Luis Anaconda

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

I bet she juxtaposed your roles, eh? Eh? Amirite?

:nod: :highfive:

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