My experience in a playground last Friday has inspired me to pen a Daily Mash style
article.
Parents caught in space time continuum at local playground
Local fire and rescue services have been called to a playground in north London after two parents became trapped in an endless cycle of contrition over the behaviour of their children.
The incident at Cherry Tree Woods in East Finchley is thought to have resulted from a disagreement over whose turn it was to play on a wooden springer shaped like a horse.
Onlookers became concerned when both adults were heard still apologising to each other more than three hours after the initial dispute began, despite their respective children having been distracted within 20 seconds by a flying kite and a merry-go-round caked in bird sh*t.
Fellow parent Sarah Winterbottom, who was in the playground with her 6-year-old daughter, Euthanasia, at the time, described the scene as “awkward, embarrassing, and a bit weird, but then just plain scary”.
“I’ve seen some vigorous parental over-compensation in my time, but this topped it all. At one point one of the kids was trying to interrupt, saying “mummy, the frontal lobes of our cerebral cortex are still highly rudimentary – however many times you say it, we really couldn’t give two solemn fu*ks about it being ‘nice to share’.
“But it was like they were trapped in a vortex of middle class social anxiety and couldn’t escape. In the end I decided to call 999 before one of the poor little fu*kers died of malnutrition.”
