Surely this is why Kendal Mint Cake was invented?
Christ knows there can be no other reason for filthy stuff's existence.
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...and his latent homosexuality
Obligatory NTTATWWT
And the same haircut since he was 5
Sir C "Yes, I'm still firmly wedged in the closet"
Whilst you're in there perhaps you could dig out a suit for Fash
Or a frock