Ash's pedestrian suvival tips.

1. Walk where possible on the side of the road facing the oncoming traffic. This might give a moment of advanced warning and a chance of getting out the way. Though this would have been unhelpful advice for people walking to the south of the river (actually the east) yesterday as it would have put them in the line of attack, but at least you could jump into the river.

2. Before crossing the road try to stand a little back from the edge and if possible behind an item such as railing, traffic light, lamp post etc to gain protection against the 'glancing blow' technique which will doubtless be developed in the coming years, and against buses right now of course which have bits that tend to sweep over the line of the kerb.

3. When crossing, do the prudent thing and get some other people between you and the possible line of attack. They might not do much, but any bit of velocity they might shave off can only help. What do you mean, cowardly? These are survival tips, not a guide to winning a George Cross.

4. Try to jump over the oncoming vehicle. This might not be straight-forward for non-gymnasts, and no use against buses and lorries, but surely worth a go against cars for the sport of the thing. Maybe a leap onto the bonnet then quick step and flying tuck, forward roll and pike.

5. Be, as we are constantly told, vigilant. What this means is to phone 999 every time our suspicion is aroused by anything. This will in no way clog up the phone lines, waste the time of the police and damage the likelihood of prevention of actual attacks.

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Originally Posted by Ash

1. Walk where possible on the side of the road facing the oncoming traffic. This might give a moment of advanced warning and a chance of getting out the way. Though this would have been unhelpful advice for people walking to the south of the river (actually the east) yesterday as it would have put them in the line of attack, but at least you could jump into the river.

2. Before crossing the road try to stand a little back from the edge and if possible behind an item such as railing, traffic light, lamp post etc to gain protection against the 'glancing blow' technique which will doubtless be developed in the coming years, and against buses right now of course which have bits that tend to sweep over the line of the kerb.

3. When crossing, do the prudent thing and get some other people between you and the possible line of attack. They might not do much, but any bit of velocity they might shave off can only help. What do you mean, cowardly? These are survival tips, not a guide to winning a George Cross.

4. Try to jump over the oncoming vehicle. This might not be straight-forward for non-gymnasts, and no use against buses and lorries, but surely worth a go against cars for the sport of the thing. Maybe a leap onto the bonnet then quick step and flying tuck, forward roll and pike.

5. Be, as we are constantly told, vigilant. What this means is to phone 999 every time our suspicion is aroused by anything. This will in no way clog up the phone lines, waste the time of the police and damage the likelihood of prevention of actual attacks.

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Sage advice, a. It might also be worth us all keeping the constabulary on their toes. I advise lunging wildly at any armed officers one sees, so they can work on their reaction times. A cheery smile and a wave as you walk away will enable them to see the funny side.

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Originally Posted by Ash

1. Walk where possible on the side of the road facing the oncoming traffic. This might give a moment of advanced warning and a chance of getting out the way. Though this would have been unhelpful advice for people walking to the south of the river (actually the east) yesterday as it would have put them in the line of attack, but at least you could jump into the river.

2. Before crossing the road try to stand a little back from the edge and if possible behind an item such as railing, traffic light, lamp post etc to gain protection against the 'glancing blow' technique which will doubtless be developed in the coming years, and against buses right now of course which have bits that tend to sweep over the line of the kerb.

3. When crossing, do the prudent thing and get some other people between you and the possible line of attack. They might not do much, but any bit of velocity they might shave off can only help. What do you mean, cowardly? These are survival tips, not a guide to winning a George Cross.

4. Try to jump over the oncoming vehicle. This might not be straight-forward for non-gymnasts, and no use against buses and lorries, but surely worth a go against cars for the sport of the thing. Maybe a leap onto the bonnet then quick step and flying tuck, forward roll and pike.

5. Be, as we are constantly told, vigilant. What this means is to phone 999 every time our suspicion is aroused by anything. This will in no way clog up the phone lines, waste the time of the police and damage the likelihood of prevention of actual attacks.

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Christ! Imagine if a bus driver goes full Allan. :-( Those cùnts are psychotic misanthropes at the best of times - imagine what they could do with a murderous ideology as well :yikes:

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Originally Posted by Ash

3. When crossing, do the prudent thing and get some other people between you and the possible line of attack. They might not do much, but any bit of velocity they might shave off can only help. What do you mean, cowardly? These are survival tips, not a guide to winning a George Cross.
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Surely if you cross at the appropriate place, a pelican crossing for example, then the wind is taken from the sails of the perp as he pulls up slowly to a halt as the lights go from green to red.

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Originally Posted by Ash

1. Walk where possible on the side of the road facing the oncoming traffic. This might give a moment of advanced warning and a chance of getting out the way. Though this would have been unhelpful advice for people walking to the south of the river (actually the east) yesterday as it would have put them in the line of attack, but at least you could jump into the river.

2. Before crossing the road try to stand a little back from the edge and if possible behind an item such as railing, traffic light, lamp post etc to gain protection against the 'glancing blow' technique which will doubtless be developed in the coming years, and against buses right now of course which have bits that tend to sweep over the line of the kerb.

3. When crossing, do the prudent thing and get some other people between you and the possible line of attack. They might not do much, but any bit of velocity they might shave off can only help. What do you mean, cowardly? These are survival tips, not a guide to winning a George Cross.

4. Try to jump over the oncoming vehicle. This might not be straight-forward for non-gymnasts, and no use against buses and lorries, but surely worth a go against cars for the sport of the thing. Maybe a leap onto the bonnet then quick step and flying tuck, forward roll and pike.

5. Be, as we are constantly told, vigilant. What this means is to phone 999 every time our suspicion is aroused by anything. This will in no way clog up the phone lines, waste the time of the police and damage the likelihood of prevention of actual attacks.

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What about dropping to the floor with arms and legs together (ideally with feet facing towards the car) when the vehicle is around 2 meters away? If they are going at speed then I would think they'd struggle to adjust course in sufficient time to get one of the tyres to roll over you. And actually, you are far more likely to survive a tyre rolling over you than you are being smashed by the front of the car.

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Originally Posted by Rich

What about dropping to the floor with arms and legs together (ideally with feet facing towards the car) when the vehicle is around 2 meters away? If they are going at speed then I would think they'd struggle to adjust course in sufficient time to get one of the tyres to roll over you. And actually, you are far more likely to survive a tyre rolling over you than you are being smashed by the front of the car.

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Wouldn't Monty have his nose ripped off using that method

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Originally Posted by Burney

Christ! Imagine if a bus driver goes full Allan. :-( Those cùnts are psychotic misanthropes at the best of times - imagine what they could do with a murderous ideology as well :yikes:

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Right. They are scary enough now bombing down Gower Street 2 cm from the kerb at what seems like 40mph. Not sure why they're not speed-limited to 20mph in town.

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Originally Posted by Pokster

Wouldn't Monty have his nose ripped off using that method

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Perhaps if he drops face first and keeps his head tilted to one side... Might get away with it then.

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Originally Posted by Rich

What about dropping to the floor with arms and legs together (ideally with feet facing towards the car) when the vehicle is around 2 meters away? If they are going at speed then I would think they'd struggle to adjust course in sufficient time to get one of the tyres to roll over you. And actually, you are far more likely to survive a tyre rolling over you than you are being smashed by the front of the car.

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On first reading I thought that sounded a bad idea, as most vehicles do not have the ride height to allow a person of average build beneath. A short trip up and down the road confirms that almost every car has a bumper too close to the ground - never mind the bits of dangling plumbing further under. Might work for some lorries. Would take some balls to try it though.

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Originally Posted by Ash

On first reading I thought that sounded a bad idea, as most vehicles do not have the ride height to allow a person of average build beneath. A short trip up and down the road confirms that almost every car has a bumper too close to the ground - never mind the bits of dangling plumbing further under. Might work for some lorries. Would take some balls to try it though.

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Well, in the case of a Hyundai i40 which was yesterday's weapon of choice, I think you could just about squeeze under. Sure, some of the trim may issue you a glancing blow but you wouldn't be taking the whole force. If jumping in the Thames was an option, I would take that first. However, this could work as a last resort. Perhaps consider adding an addendum to your guide?