This article made me laugh on many levels.

That said, it's nice to hear that j's mum gets out and about

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/05/guest-st ars-drunken-guest-scared-me

I, for one, have behaved much, much worse than that in hotels and never been chucked out. Surely some discretion is built into the deal in these circumstances?

Mind you, I've stayed in B&Bs about three times in my life and would cross oceans to avoid doing so again. I don't like the whole 'I'm paying you, but you think it's OK to dictate my lifestyle choices' thing that seems to go with them,

Am I supposed to wander round dark corridors, *******s-naked, searching for a bathroom? Only to find that the bloke in room 4 is in there doing a ****?

Nonsense. The whole thing is a nonsense.

Which they are.

I stayed in a very swingy one once, which wouldnt have been all bad apart from they were in their late 50s and I was in my early 20s.

I thought it was just the breakfast that was included

half-eaten packet of peanuts in my bed.

One of my teammates texted me saying: 'Sex offenders are housed better than this'.

By the way, I like the way you've suggested that there might be some question over whether or not you're going to need a piss in the middle of the night. http://www.awimb.com/images/smiley_icons/xmashehe1.gif

Scary, overly tactile, cat lady type landlady

I felt the most redeeming feature of the entire place was that my bedroom door had a latch on it to 'lock' it. Until the latch came off in my hand.

Not a comfortable night's sleep at all.

Never, ever, again.

Looked a leetle bit like this place

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2229/5...d99a7427ea.jpg