Touch typing. I swapped my stilsons for a keyboard 20 years ago and I am still a

slow, clumsy fat fingered 'hunt & peck' old tosser.

I read a post on Quora recently where a fella said he wouldn't employ a slow typing dev on account of the time that's wasted but mainly because, he opined, that anyone earning their living at a keyboard and not bothering to acquire that skill must be some kind of stubborn wánker. So I'm learning to do it now and my oh my it is boring and difficult.

'Fess up awimb. What is your keyboard prowess? Most of the kids I work with type with, at most, 2 fingers on each hand but type easily as fast as someone trained to touch type.

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

slow, clumsy fat fingered 'hunt & peck' old tosser.

I read a post on Quora recently where a fella said he wouldn't employ a slow typing dev on account of the time that's wasted but mainly because, he opined, that anyone earning their living at a keyboard and not bothering to acquire that skill must be some kind of stubborn wánker. So I'm learning to do it now and my oh my it is boring and difficult.

'Fess up awimb. What is your keyboard prowess? Most of the kids I work with type with, at most, 2 fingers on each hand but type easily as fast as someone trained to touch type.

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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My two index fingers have served me well for 32 years of office work, h.

My two fists and forearms have served your mum's árse well.

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

slow, clumsy fat fingered 'hunt & peck' old tosser.

I read a post on Quora recently where a fella said he wouldn't employ a slow typing dev on account of the time that's wasted but mainly because, he opined, that anyone earning their living at a keyboard and not bothering to acquire that skill must be some kind of stubborn wánker. So I'm learning to do it now and my oh my it is boring and difficult.

'Fess up awimb. What is your keyboard prowess? Most of the kids I work with type with, at most, 2 fingers on each hand but type easily as fast as someone trained to touch type.

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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Before i went to University I used to get a lot of work as an audiotypist and was renowned for my typing speed. All the agencies loved me.

Did you actually o a touch typing course of some sort?

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

slow, clumsy fat fingered 'hunt & peck' old tosser.

I read a post on Quora recently where a fella said he wouldn't employ a slow typing dev on account of the time that's wasted but mainly because, he opined, that anyone earning their living at a keyboard and not bothering to acquire that skill must be some kind of stubborn wánker. So I'm learning to do it now and my oh my it is boring and difficult.

'Fess up awimb. What is your keyboard prowess? Most of the kids I work with type with, at most, 2 fingers on each hand but type easily as fast as someone trained to touch type.

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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ifs even an old drunken journalist like me can touch type, h. Mind you I also have a qualification in Teeline shorthand, though I suspect today I may fall short of 100 words a minute

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

slow, clumsy fat fingered 'hunt & peck' old tosser.

I read a post on Quora recently where a fella said he wouldn't employ a slow typing dev on account of the time that's wasted but mainly because, he opined, that anyone earning their living at a keyboard and not bothering to acquire that skill must be some kind of stubborn wánker. So I'm learning to do it now and my oh my it is boring and difficult.

'Fess up awimb. What is your keyboard prowess? Most of the kids I work with type with, at most, 2 fingers on each hand but type easily as fast as someone trained to touch type.

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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I use two-to-three fingers on each hand and go at a decent-enough clip, but most importantly, the quality of what I write is more important than the speed of the typing.

Likewise, the quality of one's logical thought and ability to use the tools available is more important than typing speed, so you should tell that pompous old **** that he's a, erm, pompous old ****. Reminds me of some smarmy Oxford undergrad I knew back the olden days who said that programming (as it was known than) in COBOL was slow because the language was verbose.

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

ifs even an old drunken journalist like me can touch type, h. Mind you I also have a qualification in Teeline shorthand, though I suspect today I may fall short of 100 words a minute

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what is touch typing? Surely doing it without touching is far more difficult?

It's not so much coding. The chars we use when doing that aren't likely to benefit much anyway ({} : <> []; != ) etc.

It's more stuff like writing handover docs which I avoid like the plague because typing is so laborious and difficult*

*might just be a lazy ****

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Originally Posted by Peter

what is touch typing? Surely doing it without touching is far more difficult?

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Touch typing (also called touch type or touch keyboarding) is typing without using the sense of sight to find the keys. Specifically, a touch typist will know their location on the keyboard through muscle memory.

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

Touch typing (also called touch type or touch keyboarding) is typing without using the sense of sight to find the keys. Specifically, a touch typist will know their location on the keyboard through muscle memory.

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Oh right. Yeah I can do that. I have to look at the first key I hit. Its like knowing where your off stump is.

If I need to speed up I simply hit the keys harder. Feels like its working ;)

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

Touch typing (also called touch type or touch keyboarding) is typing without using the sense of sight to find the keys. Specifically, a touch typist will know their location on the keyboard through muscle memory.

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Muscle memory, really?

What the fúck is that then.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Muscle memory, really?

What the fúck is that then.

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Remembering that you used to have muscles.

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

( I expect an I.T. autistic old Irish luddite like SW bludgeons the keyboard with his elbows ).

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I have worked with a keyboard since my first desk job in 1988 so I will have you know I am a fúcking wizard “touch typist” as you say.

So basically back when you were fixing people’s U Bends and cleaning ****e from their pipes I was flying around the keyboard with remarkable ease. Smoking at my desk as well, cool as fúck.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

were fixing people’s U Bends and cleaning ****e from their pipes I was flying around the keyboard with remarkable ease. Smoking at my desk as well, cool as fúck.

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Fixing U bends, cleaning ****e and shagging your missus

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Smoking at my desk as well, cool as fúck.

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I often used to go through a 20 pack during office hours, due to the number of people smoking in the office.

You'd be typing away and a fag would land on your desk.

Long stopped now, of course.

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

Fixing U bends, cleaning ****e and shagging your missus

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In lieu of payment to be fair.

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Originally Posted by IUFG

I often used to go through a 20 pack during office hours, due to the number of people smoking in the office.

You'd be typing away and a fag would land on your desk.

Long stopped now, of course.

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Indeed, times have changed.

3-4 hot knives before leaving the house in the morning, fried egg sandwich from the cafe on Paul Street, smoke a few fags, 2-3 pints at lunchtime in the Watermark Club, a wee pipe maybe, back to the office and few more fags. Out the door at 5 on the dot.

Personally I blame the likes of you and other HR / H&S nazis.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Personally I blame the likes of you and other HR / H&S nazis.

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I don't make them rules, sw...

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Indeed, times have changed.

3-4 hot knives before leaving the house in the morning, fried egg sandwich from the cafe on Paul Street, smoke a few fags, 2-3 pints at lunchtime in the Watermark Club, a wee pipe maybe, back to the office and few more fags. Out the door at 5 on the dot.

Personally I blame the likes of you and other HR / H&S nazis.

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I used to smoke a joint on the bus every morning between Birmingham and Wednesbury. A different world, indeed.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Indeed, times have changed.

3-4 hot knives before leaving the house in the morning, fried egg sandwich from the cafe on Paul Street, smoke a few fags, 2-3 pints at lunchtime in the Watermark Club, a wee pipe maybe, back to the office and few more fags. Out the door at 5 on the dot.

Personally I blame the likes of you and other HR / H&S nazis.

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****ing hot knives first thing in the morning?

Jesus Christ.

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Originally Posted by Peter

****ing hot knives first thing in the morning?

Jesus Christ.

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Yeah, I thought that was a bit much too.

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Originally Posted by Ash

Yeah, I thought that was a bit much too.

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A nice bucket bong, perhaps, at a push. Hot knives is just taking the ****ing piss. That's nasty.

Never touch the stuff, myself.

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Originally Posted by Peter

****ing hot knives first thing in the morning?

Jesus Christ.

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Great for the office Pedro, you simply made it to your desk and then made no verbal contact with any person until after lunch.

Chicks would think you were a man of mystery, the intrigue deepened by one’s suave foreign ways, essentially not a sexual predator.

Until the Xmas party.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Great for the office Pedro, you simply made it to your desk and then made no verbal contact with any person until after lunch.

Chicks would think you were a man of mystery, the intrigue deepened by one’s suave foreign ways, essentially not a sexual predator.

Until the Xmas party.

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Yes, there is something very suave about hot knives isn't there.

I like the way you talk about those days with such fondness. You mentioned tripping in Trent Park the other day. Bought back some pleasant memories ;)

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Originally Posted by Peter

Yes, there is something very suave about hot knives isn't there.

I like the way you talk about those days with such fondness. You mentioned tripping in Trent Park the other day. Bought back some pleasant memories ;)

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Much fondness indeed Pedro, London living part1 - 1987 to 1994.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Much fondness indeed Pedro, London living part1 - 1987 to 1994.

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The glory years. When Camden was still Camden and not a tourist destination. Tufnell Park and Kentish Town were still good, honest ****holes. And you could still buy mushrooms or find decent acid.

Happy Days.....

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Originally Posted by Peter

The glory years. When Camden was still Camden and not a tourist destination. Tufnell Park and Kentish Town were still good, honest ****holes. And you could still buy mushrooms or find decent acid.

Happy Days.....

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Indeed, The Devonshire Arms in Camden for pool and pints, Tufnell Park Tavern for Sunday Jazz and Kentish Town for the T+C Club, The Bull and Gate and the dirty wee bird from Gospel Oak who let me do all sorts of things.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Indeed, The Devonshire Arms in Camden for pool and pints, Tufnell Park Tavern for Sunday Jazz and Kentish Town for the T+C Club, The Bull and Gate and the dirty wee bird from Gospel Oak who let me do all sorts of things.

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Sunday Jazz? SW?

:hehe: Pull the other one mate

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Sunday Jazz? SW?

:hehe: Pull the other one mate

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I lie not. Sunday jazz sessions to allow one to unwind after a tough friday and saturday.

Maybe a curry in the Indian Ocean on Holloway Road after.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

I lie not. Sunday jazz sessions to allow one to unwind after a tough friday and saturday.

Maybe a curry in the Indian Ocean on Holloway Road after.

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Name me 4 prominent jazz artists then. On your marks, get set, go!

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Sunday Jazz? SW?

:hehe: Pull the other one mate

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Read on .....................

http://www.chipperfieldjazz.com/blog/archives/06-2014

:vsign:

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Name me 4 prominent jazz artists then. On your marks, get set, go!

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I think you misinterpret the scenario.

I was not ever a jazz aficionado, it was however a gentle haven for late afternoon or early evening pints after somewhat more taxing Friday and Saturday excursions. We would relax, chill if you like, while the relevant house band played away lulling all into a state of relaxation and calm.

Like most people I have a few of the classic jazz standards in one’s collection – Miles Davis, John Coltrane – and for a while back at the time I was quite fond of the Acid Jazz movement which sprung up in London, Dingwalls in Camden being quite the spot.