There are three urinals in the gents next to my office. I followed a chap in there

this morning and there is nobody else present. Can you imagine my surprise then, when he selects the middle of the three urinals, thereby forcing me to rub shoulders with him as I relieved myself. He might as well have held it for me.

I had always thought it was an unwritten rule that one should use either the furthermost left or furthermost right urinal unless one found both to be occupied (in which case I imagine most would opt for one of the traps instead).

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Originally Posted by Rich

this morning and there is nobody else present. Can you imagine my surprise then, when he selects the middle of the three urinals, thereby forcing me to rub shoulders with him as I relieved myself. He might as well have held it for me.

I had always thought it was an unwritten rule that one should use either the furthermost left or furthermost right urinal unless one found both to be occupied (in which case I imagine most would opt for one of the traps instead).

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you have lots of these rules. like being on the left in corridors.

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Originally Posted by Rich

this morning and there is nobody else present. Can you imagine my surprise then, when he selects the middle of the three urinals, thereby forcing me to rub shoulders with him as I relieved myself. He might as well have held it for me.

I had always thought it was an unwritten rule that one should use either the furthermost left or furthermost right urinal unless one found both to be occupied (in which case I imagine most would opt for one of the traps instead).

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This is a rule, although sometimes if one of the urinals is right up against a wall, it can make it difficult. In our offices, the left-most urinal is right up against the door of one of the traps, while the right-most is next to the door. This means that someone emerging from the trap or entering the lavatories will be confronted by the unshielded sight of me holding my penîs.

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Originally Posted by Rich

this morning and there is nobody else present. Can you imagine my surprise then, when he selects the middle of the three urinals, thereby forcing me to rub shoulders with him as I relieved myself. He might as well have held it for me.

I had always thought it was an unwritten rule that one should use either the furthermost left or furthermost right urinal unless one found both to be occupied (in which case I imagine most would opt for one of the traps instead).

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What makes you think your winkle is so special that it's important no one sees it?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

What makes you think your winkle is so special that it's important no one sees it?

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Well I just feel exposed if a chap suddenly lurches in and there I am with my lad in my hand, vulnerable like. :-(

I can't imagine it's too much fun for him, either. Although I did tell you about that chap who used to unzip as soon as he walked into the bogs and then walk, cock out, to the urinal. :-(

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Originally Posted by Burney

This is a rule, although sometimes if one of the urinals is right up against a wall, it can make it difficult. In our offices, the left-most urinal is right up against the door of one of the traps, while the right-most is next to the door. This means that someone emerging from the trap or entering the lavatories will be confronted by the unshielded sight of me holding my penîs.

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"Will be"? Inevitably? Unavoidably? Inescapably?

Do you live in there :-(

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Originally Posted by redgunamo

"Will be"? Inevitably? Unavoidably? Inescapably?

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Well...other commitments allowing, yes.

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Originally Posted by Burney

Well I just feel exposed if a chap suddenly lurches in and there I am with my lad in my hand, vulnerable like. :-(

I can't imagine it's too much fun for him, either. Although I did tell you about that chap who used to unzip as soon as he walked into the bogs and then walk, cock out, to the urinal. :-(

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Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

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Originally Posted by Pat Vegas

you have lots of these rules. like being on the left in corridors.

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And pavements, Fash. Imagine walking down Oxford Street on a Saturday lunchtime if everyone kept to the left and maintained a steady speed :cloud9:

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Originally Posted by Burney

Well...other commitments allowing, yes.

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Oh, don't get me wrong. It's alright, I suppose, if you like it. But what a hell of a life.

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Originally Posted by Burney

This is a rule, although sometimes if one of the urinals is right up against a wall, it can make it difficult. In our offices, the left-most urinal is right up against the door of one of the traps, while the right-most is next to the door. This means that someone emerging from the trap or entering the lavatories will be confronted by the unshielded sight of me holding my penîs.

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None of those issues here. The left-most is next to the sidewall of trap one. The right-most next to a wall that separates the urinals from the sinks. I almost felt like I should say something.

See also - when waiting to cross the roads at traffic lights and someone presses the button to cross a few seconds after you have :angry: I HAVE ALREADY PRESSED IT, MATE. THAT'S WHY THE LIGHT IS ILLUMINATED.

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Originally Posted by Rich

None of those issues here. The left-most is next to the sidewall of trap one. The right-most next to a wall that separates the urinals from the sinks. I almost felt like I should say something.

See also - when waiting to cross the roads at traffic lights and someone presses the button to cross a few seconds after you have :angry: I HAVE ALREADY PRESSED IT, MATE. THAT'S WHY THE LIGHT IS ILLUMINATED.

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Yes, but everyone likes to press the button, don't they? It's a childhood thing.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

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I should have thought that a disinclination to be confronted by the hamptons of others or to confront other men with mine unless strictly necessary would suggest the opposite. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by Burney

I should have thought that a disinclination to be confronted by the hamptons of others or to confront other men with mine unless strictly necessary would suggest the opposite. :shrug:

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You're scared of that bad boy, aren't you? You fear it, and yet, you think of it almost constantly. It haunts yours dreams, awake or asleep.

Bear in mind that there's nothing wrong with it.

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Originally Posted by Burney

Yes, but everyone likes to press the button, don't they? It's a childhood thing.

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Oh not me. Think of all the revolting people that would have placed their fingers on the button. I just think that they assume I'm just aimlessly standing at the side of the road. Imagine the money that could be saved by councils if we didn't put a light there SPECIFICALLY SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW WHEN THE BUTTON HAS ALREADY BEEN PRESSED.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

You're scared of that bad boy, aren't you? You fear it, and yet, you think of it almost constantly. It haunts yours dreams, awake or asleep.

Bear in mind that there's nothing wrong with it.

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:nono: I walk in fear of no man's personal pipe, I assure you.

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Originally Posted by Rich

Oh not me. Think of all the revolting people that would have placed their fingers on the button. I just think that they assume I'm just aimlessly standing at the side of the road. Imagine the money that could be saved by councils if we didn't put a light there SPECIFICALLY SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW WHEN THE BUTTON HAS ALREADY BEEN PRESSED.

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There's a little buzzer at the bottom of that unit for blind people, r. Did you know that?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-22706881

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Originally Posted by Burney

Yes, but everyone likes to press the button, don't they? It's a childhood thing.

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Here the people visiting the health insurance office on the floor below mine love to press the up and down buttons on the lift. Inevitably meaning once it arrives from, inevitably, a higher floor, it wants to go down first. Cue door opening and closing a couple of times before eventually heading up. Always thought it was the kids who did it but seem several adults do it now. ffs how difficult is it

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Originally Posted by Burney

Yes, but everyone likes to press the button, don't they? It's a childhood thing.

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Even when not intending to cross the road.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Even when not intending to cross the road.

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:nod: :hehe:

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

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'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.'

Mr Wilde

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.

Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.

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To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

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My glans is a shrivelled, scarred, pockmarked old thing now, h, not fit for anything save pissing through.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

You're scared of that bad boy, aren't you? You fear it, and yet, you think of it almost constantly. It haunts yours dreams, awake or asleep.

Bear in mind that there's nothing wrong with it.

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I must say c, you are never more lyrical than when discussing the erectus delectus

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Originally Posted by Rich

And pavements, Fash. Imagine walking down Oxford Street on a Saturday lunchtime if everyone kept to the left and maintained a steady speed :cloud9:

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We don't often agree, Rich, but I'm with you on this one.

My favourite pedestrian gripes: Groups of stationary people blocking pavements, groups of people walking slowly along pavements and blocking it, pairs of people walking and looking at each other not the oncoming traffic, people walking while looking at their phones. :shout:

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*

*might have made that bit up

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Didn't Balloonatic say he had the cleanest cock on AWIMB and you could eat your lunch off it

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Originally Posted by Ash

We don't often agree, Rich, but I'm with you on this one.

My favourite pedestrian gripes: Groups of stationary people blocking pavements, groups of people walking slowly along pavements and blocking it, pairs of people walking and looking at each other not the oncoming traffic, people walking while looking at their phones. :shout:

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OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

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Originally Posted by Rich

OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

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The Chinesers are especially bad at walking two abreast and then expecting you to move out of their way.

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Originally Posted by Rich

OR OR OR - people in the supermarket isle with their shopping trolley who suddenly stop in the middle of one of the main thoroughfare isles (the ones that link all the other isles). This causes tailbacks of people wanting to get past. MOVE TO ONE ****ING SIDE! Every time it happens I swear to God that I'll just go through them with my trolley next time.

Of course what happens in reality is I tut quietly and negotiate a difficult route around them.

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I walked from London Bridge to your Epsom the other weekend along the route of the old Roman Stane Street (basically the A24). Got a bus within a minute of arriving in the town centre back to Morden Tube thus saving the whole mainline rail fare back into town minus £1.50 :cloud9:

Ewell looks a nice place.

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Originally Posted by Rich

The Chinesers are especially bad at walking two abreast and then expecting you to move out of their way.

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Perhaps it's the custom in their land that the two abreast get the right of way. I am now in the habit of walking right in up front of the phone-gazers until the last moment, making them jump and apologise.

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Originally Posted by Herbette Chapman - aged 15

I must say c, you are never more lyrical than when discussing the erectus delectus

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Yes, it really is a fine thing these two found each other, isn't it.

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Originally Posted by Ash

I walked from London Bridge to your Epsom the other weekend along the route of the old Roman Stane Street (basically the A24). Got a bus within a minute of arriving in the town centre back to Morden Tube thus saving the whole mainline rail fare back into town minus £1.50 :cloud9:

Ewell looks a nice place.

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I'm Cobham now, actually. But yes, it's nice. You should've made your way to my old local. Little pub on a lake/pond called The Cricketers. There is a green opposite (was once a cricket pitch, I believe) which people sit on to drink/eat in the summer. On those 3/4 really balmy summer eves it gets packed and is a really rather pleasant atmosphere.