That may be where you're going wrong; it's not considered a perversion nowadays.
Of course, but it's all about the wives nowadays, isn't it. "What women want" and a' that. Chaps have little say in the matter. Either you're on board with it, so to speak, or the ship sails without you. And few blokes have any credibility left on the topic anyway; let he who is without sin and so on.