It's like Richmond and Kingston-Upon-Thames. No way are they London. They're leafy towns masquerading as London.
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Mercy me a, you must have passed through the living hell called Hayes Town. Those of us who have lived near its environs simply call it the Open Prison. I knew a Hayes girl who had her anus tatooed to resemble a pouting cherub with the caption "gizza kiss" on her buttocks*
*may have made that up, convinced she probably exists