I know it was a joke :-) Clacton is grim.
I wouldn't live in Holland on Sea but it is a very pleasant and quiet few hours on the beach. Harwich is quite nice as well, but a bit out of the way.
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"It's not Dubai. But it's not that bad." :hehe:
https://www.essexlive.news/news/esse...d-town-3365462
Colchester is actually not a bad place to live. It is just far enough away from London to require its own facilities and there is a fair bit to do. Good arts centre, decent art gallery, shops if you like that sort of thing. Some of the pubs are pretty decent.
There are parts of it to be avoided at all costs. Be careful which parts you look at :-)