The Shadow Home Secretary and putative holder of one of the great Offices of State

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Originally Posted by Monty92

A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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I always felt a bit sorry for him, tbh. He was never going to have much of a career once he stopped being and looking young, but getting Parkinson's always struck me as a bit of a shítter for the lad.

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Originally Posted by Burney

No. That's because that is very possibly the greatest crude simile in history.

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Cold as a witch’s tit?

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Originally Posted by Monty92

A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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If I hadn't been reading your unmitigated çuntholery for so long I'd be tempted to think you were playing for a laugh :-)

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Cold as a witch’s tit?

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I quite like 'Cold as a tart's kiss'; 'Wet as an otter's pocket' and the Australian classic 'Dry as a nun's nasty'

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Cold as a witch’s tit?

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Face like a bulldog lickin' píss off a nettle ... surely?

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Originally Posted by Burney

I quite like 'Cold as a tart's kiss'; 'Wet as an otter's pocket' and the Australian classic 'Dry as a nun's nasty'

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‘Dry as a nun’s ****’ if you grew up in London.

I always thought, ‘dry as Gandhi’s flip flop’ had a lot going for it as well.

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Face like a bulldog lickin' píss off a nettle ... surely?

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‘As mean as a Jew’. Jeremy taught me that one.

Sir C "Cold as a witch’s tit?"

Flat as a witch's tit !

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Originally Posted by Sir C

‘As mean as a Jew’. Jeremy taught me that one.

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Face like a jew boy paying a bill .. he taught me that one.

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Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas

Sir C "Cold as a witch’s tit?"

Flat as a witch's tit !

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Aha! I wonder if I've misremembered or whether there are two versions out there.