So Burney, last night as I ate my chicken kiev and salad, I discovered that my

right shovel technique has not entirely left me. It was the salad that required it. A finely chopped combination of lettuce, avocado, tomatoe, croutons and cucumber (with lashings of blue cheese dressing and a drizzle of hot sauce).

Stabbing every individual element was inefficient and unsatisfactory as it is optimal to have multiple elements in your mouth at one time. There was no way to place the salad on top of the chicken which I had stabbed with my left hand fork technique, so the only alternative was to shovel.

And as I am right handed, my right hand shovel technique is subtle and under-stated. I do have a left hand shovel technique as well but it pretty much involves me putting my left elbow in the ear of the person next to me.

All in all, it was the best way forward. :nod:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by World's End Stella

right shovel technique has not entirely left me. It was the salad that required it. A finely chopped combination of lettuce, avocado, tomatoe, croutons and cucumber (with lashings of blue cheese dressing and a drizzle of hot sauce).

Stabbing every individual element was inefficient and unsatisfactory as it is optimal to have multiple elements in your mouth at one time. There was no way to place the salad on top of the chicken which I had stabbed with my left hand fork technique, so the only alternative was to shovel.

And as I am right handed, my right hand shovel technique is subtle and under-stated. I do have a left hand shovel technique as well but it pretty much involves me putting my left elbow in the ear of the person next to me.

All in all, it was the best way forward. :nod:

---

Once, when eating alone, I ate my chopped salad with a tablespoon for most efficient shovelage.

There, I've said it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by World's End Stella

right shovel technique has not entirely left me. It was the salad that required it. A finely chopped combination of lettuce, avocado, tomatoe, croutons and cucumber (with lashings of blue cheese dressing and a drizzle of hot sauce).

Stabbing every individual element was inefficient and unsatisfactory as it is optimal to have multiple elements in your mouth at one time. There was no way to place the salad on top of the chicken which I had stabbed with my left hand fork technique, so the only alternative was to shovel.

And as I am right handed, my right hand shovel technique is subtle and under-stated. I do have a left hand shovel technique as well but it pretty much involves me putting my left elbow in the ear of the person next to me.

All in all, it was the best way forward. :nod:

---

You don't have to stab everything. You push the food onto the back of your fork and bring it to your mouth. I appreciate that such a technique may seem difficult to the less evolved, but such are the sacrifices one has to make in order to be civilised. :shrug:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

Once, when eating alone, I ate my chopped salad with a tablespoon for most efficient shovelage.

---

you ****ing animal

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by World's End Stella

right shovel technique has not entirely left me. It was the salad that required it. A finely chopped combination of lettuce, avocado, tomatoe, croutons and cucumber (with lashings of blue cheese dressing and a drizzle of hot sauce).

Stabbing every individual element was inefficient and unsatisfactory as it is optimal to have multiple elements in your mouth at one time. There was no way to place the salad on top of the chicken which I had stabbed with my left hand fork technique, so the only alternative was to shovel.

And as I am right handed, my right hand shovel technique is subtle and under-stated. I do have a left hand shovel technique as well but it pretty much involves me putting my left elbow in the ear of the person next to me.

All in all, it was the best way forward. :nod:

---

At least if your elbow's in their ear they might not be able to hear you :wave:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

Once, when eating alone, I ate my chopped salad with a tablespoon for most efficient shovelage.

There, I've said it.

---

Yes. but I've seen you lick the ooze from a boiled pig's nose, so you're hardly the doyen of table manners, are you?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by IUFG

you ****ing animal

---

:nod: I have no excuse, i.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

Yes. but I've seen you lick the ooze from a boiled pig's nose, so you're hardly the doyen of table manners, are you?

---

Excuse me! My exploits with dead pigs never take place at the table.

Anyway, everyone knows that all manners are negotiable when alone. After all, eating a kebab in one's underpants whilst watching football is acceptable when the glw is away, isn't it?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

Excuse me! My exploits with dead pigs never take place at the table.

Anyway, everyone knows that all manners are negotiable when alone. After all, eating a kebab in one's underpants whilst watching football is acceptable when the glw is away, isn't it?

---

Of course. Table manners are for the benefit of others, so it could be argued that they are redundant when alone.

However, it is the mark of a true gentleman that he would dress for dinner and observe impeccable manners even when dining alone.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

Of course. Table manners are for the benefit of others, so it could be argued that they are redundant when alone.

However, it is the mark of a true gentleman that he would dress for dinner and observe impeccable manners even when dining alone.

---

Oh I should never dine naked, even whilst alone.